Just my thoughts I guess

So today im feeling ok, still a bit stressed out, for many reasons. Hoping that none of my friends talked about me when they went to meet up today, because I would die inside if someone besides the one person I told found out about my crush, or even just if they were bitching about me in general, or talking about me at all to be honest. Why does being a teenager suck so badly, i wish I could fast forward to adulthood, or go back to being a kid again because i hate this so much I wish my emotions would stay under control, instead of 'not caring' for a few months and then every so often breaking down and getting all depressed and anxious about every little thing. Its exhausting and I hate it.