It's a Diary Entry about a Relationship So Guess What? It's Getting Posted Here in "Diary Entries"
Been feeling scared to let go of a past heartbreak. Here is a man who I thought was meant for me, and who hurt me two years ago, but left the door open for more. He didn't tie up the loose ends, he left it all up in the air and then ghosted me. I have spent the last two, years, when everything else was in turmoil, (my relationship with my mom who I live with, and my job), trying to figure him out, like a CD playing in the background 24/7. I met him nine years ago, and we've had a rocky relationship since. He keeps coming back and insisting he loves me, only to have me find out about other partners and then he vanishes for a while. He talks about a future with me, and then he disappears. It's awful, but i have felt that if I don't give it my all, I'll regret it, not giving the relationship a shot for success. Here he's actually kindof hurting my other relationships because he sucks all my energy away, not even being here.
I'm afraid to let go of him if through some convoluted plot, God actually did intend him to be with me in the years to come. When it was good, it was that person, it was like peanut butter and jelly, like, a couple you would look up to because of their sparkling witty banter and genuine love. We were that YouTube couple that seem like best friends from the same galaxy far far away. But then he vanishes.
For added color, i thought I'd paint you all a picture of what he does, through an example from 2014. I was told through text message that he had an exhilirating surprise waiting for my birthday that year. He asked me to meet him at a local park near where I live, wherein he would present me with this surprise gift. I proceed to arrive at said park, where I see him already there in the car. When he gets out, he walks over and, eventually, shows me a tin foil ring around his third finger. He proceeds to explain that he took a piece of tin foil at his house, and wove it into the shape of a ring, which would act as a placeholder until he dug out his old promise ring from back in 2011. This was his commitment to me, symbolized in that tin foil. Two days later I get a text from a friend that he's not single, I confront him about it, he backpedals and then he vanishes.
