I am terrified of failure and that impacts every thing that I do
By almost every metric in life, I am a success.
I have been given so many blessings in my life - more blessings than frankly a single person should receive if life were fair. Blessings that I recognize were handed to me by the luck of the cosmic dice.
I have worked very hard, harder than I have needed to to be a success.
I literally cannot think of anything that I could complain about in my life with any honesty.
So why I am terrified of failing? Terrified to stop working so hard at everything?
And, to be honest, what if I don't really want to stop?
@YellowDaffies - I can definitely relate, and have long felt those same pressures to continue to succeed, to meet my own or others' expectations, and that fear about potentially failing.
One thing that helps me a lot (especially in individual fears, rather than the overarching ones) is to take the situation at hand, and figure out what it would mean if I failed. In my head, I tend to catastrophize things, but when I really think it through, I often realize that actually, I am more than capable of handling the situation, that others won't react in any terrible way, and that ultimately, it will be okay. Once I've figured out how I would cope with a worst case scenario, it's easier for me to let go of that fear and work towards succeeding instead.
Not sure if that same type of process would help you (I know for some it can make things more overwhelming), but I believe in you and in your ability to find something that does work, and if you want to talk through it, you're more than welcome to PM me.
And one other note: you mentioned that you've been successful by traditional measures and have no reason to feel this way, but I don't think there ever has to be a reason WHY you feel a certain way; the mere fact that you do makes it 100% valid.
@yellowdaffies - I hear you! So sorry, I think I understand that a bit from my world. Success isn't all it promises, but it does give me a goal - any goal - to work toward. I also notice that the definitions of success are not what I personally find most important, so I'm left with an empty feeling, no matter what "award stuff" sits on my desk. I can't find that thing to do, or be, that makes ME feel a success to myself. And the fact that I can't find it (just yet) makes me keep on keep on trying for these other successes just to search. Perhaps this isn't the same at all, but I do understand the tough feeling of being defeated by my own success. It IS hard Daffies! Be good to you. Boquets of golden flowers for you today.