I Don't Know What's Going On: A Rant

This will be a long, long post. I always have vibrant dreams at night. I usually remember them when I wake up. Now, sometimes I have goofy dreams, like being surrounded by pizza. But lately, I've had some awful dreams. Last night, I dreamt that I was really skinny, like looking anorexic. And I was thinking, "Wow, I gotta gain weight." But this random guy said, "No. You look fine like that." I've always struggled with wanting to eat and remembering to eat, so that was really difficult. Then, in a different part of the dream, I was out at dinner with my best friend, my ex boyfriend, and my dad. In the middle of dinner, my best friend suddenly started shaking, became unconscious, and was about to die. No ambulance would get her. So we took her to my house and laid her in my bed. Over the past week, my best friend and I had talks in real life about how her heart might fail because of the life she lives. I'm legitimately scared this is going to happen. Then, my ex boyfriend, in my dream, tried to sleep with me, and I was so into it. And he was being really sweet and it was like we were never broken up. But then my dad yelled at us, and I ended the dream screaming. This breakup with my ex has been super hard. And I know that when I'm awake, I don't want him. I'm okay with never speaking to him and never being his friend. But it's dreams like this, where he's like my boyfriend again, that make me sad. It's so crippling having dreams like this every night. I've woken up crying because of dreams like this. I don't know what's going on, and I really want these dreams to stop. I don't know if these dreams mean anything for the future, but honestly hope to God that this was just a bad dream. I honestly wouldn't wish bad dreams on anyone. They're the most crippling, depressing things in your life, and you can't really control them.