Feelings of shame and Mother's Day
I can't imagine writing about this anywhere else because I feel very embarassed about it. I just want to get some of this off my chest because of how uncomfortable it makes me feel.
I feel emotionally awkard in expressing my love for other people, especially around Mother's Day. I just feel a shame and awkwardness in how I connect with my Mom, and I feel bad for not being able to show her how I much I appreciate her. I don't know if it's because of societal pressure or my relationship with her growing up.
I am one of the middle children of 5 total (4 boys and 1 girl). I am a 30 years old, male and single. I've had plenty relationships in my life - some lasting years others a few months. For the romantic relationships that did last a while, I felt comfortable expressing myself, but I've always felt somewhat uneasy with my Mom. I just don't know how to interact with her in that way. Should I feel bad for this? Should I feel the need to change how I approach it? I don't know. I usually get her flowers and a card of gift and hug her/tell her I love her, but it never feels enough. I always go home feeling uncomfortable.
I don't know what I'm expecting to hear on here. I just felt the need to write this out. Thanks for reading.
I can relate to mother's day feeling weird. I'm 43 and my mother and I have always had what I'll call a cold relationship. I learned by six not to go to her for advice or emotional support. This year for mother's day I gave her some scones and watched tv with her for an hour. We haven't hugged in years. Don't feel bad for the emotions you have. Remember you can't control how she reacts to what you do. Do what you believe to be right and however she reacts at least you know you tried. Thank you for sharing. It's good to hear I'm not alone in feeling awkward towards my mom.
my mom is deceased but only recently have I made serious progress in accepting the past so I can be free to live and love in the present I started being able to honestly enjoy memories of the good times I had with her as a child instead of only rehearsing the pain of the hurtful times
@diplomaticWest1394 ur not alone
@diplomaticWest1394- such a thoughtful post. Were your parents demonstrative in their affection towards each other as you were growning up. How about to you and your siblings- did they show and tell you that they loved you? All of these answers may hold the clues to why you are feeling this way. Your questioning how you can show your mother your love is a step in growing as an adult. Perhaps you can start by sharing a few of these simple questions and concerns with your mother- herself. Good luck to you. Take care.
I feel exactly the same way. I am 30 and the middle child. The only girl with 4 brothers. I struggle to connect emotionally with my parents and everything feels so general and polite but never intimate like I think a parent/child relationship should be. Maybe a generational thing. My parents never opened up and talked to me. They also did a poor job making me feel loved. I always felt like I had to do more or act better the gain their favor and love. I just don’t know how to talk to them about anything.