Faithful Prune Diaries #14

Hi! How are you? I'm okay at the moment. I wanted to tell you here on 7 Cups because I know it is safe to talk about anything here, that I finally won my disability case after 11 years of fighting for it. I have severe depression and severe anxiety with degenerative disc in my L's. The only person who actually pushed me and to never to give up on it was my mom. Yes, she was the first one to know, and the only one. My 7 Cups family are the 2nd to know, which I am telling you now. The rest of my family doesn't know not they deserve it. The family member that I've mentioned here several times in the past, the one who never believed me and said I was just trying to get attention sure as heck don't deserve to know. I mean, why? He called me all kinds of names, including a crazy, attention seeking liar, talks crap to my kids about me like I'm not even there, and several fights broke out over me mentioning my mental health issues. I was even pinned to a sink by a table and put in choke holds, all because I mention it, being told to "put my big-girl panties on and wake the F up", or "you're just making excuses to keep from being a mother", "you just want attention", and many others including being called lazy and jealous, and that I'm just selfish and greedy. Before all this get said, he'll say something on the lines of needing to get help and get everything out in the open. I'm caught off guard every time. But I have learned that all that is a trap. Yeah, if he did find out about me winning my case and money coming in every month, he'll suddenly be "caring". My mental well being doesn't matter to the person, just the money. That would be the only reason. This is why I can't tell my 16-year old just yet. She has a thing about telling them everything I say or do, and she even thinks I'm jealous of her having a boyfriend because these people told her I was, because I am not getting the affection I need from a man. I don't even know why I would be jealous of my daughter dating. I just want her to be happy. The family thinks they know what's wrong with me without even asking, just assuming, when I try to tell them, they don't believe me. They are taking the assumptions as their solution. Ive told them that I will do ANYTHING to get my anger under control, and I was told "No, you won't" with a head shake. But they're there if I need to talk!? Okay, whatever! Well, I wanted to get this off my chest to people who actually cared without the parenthesise.