Faithful Prune Diaries #13 (Thank You)
Hey there! I know I haven't posted a diary here in a while, but I'm here today. I just want to say thank you to all of you for being there for me and everyone else when we need to talk to someone. I don't talk much to the listeners here, but you are still my people. When I post, I get nothing from here but love, validation, and non-judgement, where as certain family members in the outside gives me nothing but ridicule, judgement, and name-calling, such as attention seeker and a hypocondriac. This person thinks I'm faking depression just to take pills and they even told me they didn't care about what happened and it was all my fault it happened. To top it off, this person told me that they're sick and tired of hearing about it and that I'm being selfish for me to want to heal. He later apologized, but I didn't accept it. After that, he told me not to drive their car, drink his pop, and told the rest of the family not to help me in any way, and for me to stay away from him just because I didn't accept his "apologies". Did he forgive me for running away to another town with a man and breakng my family's heart, then my grandfather dying of a heart attack two months later? Helluva no! He tells me, screams to me that I'm not that dam sorry because I'm still hurting the family. Do I have the right to not accept his "apology"? I know he will do these things to me again. He also throws everything I ever say or do back in my face and my sister, his wife, let's him talk to me this way. Every once in a while she'll get onto him for it. I'm just forever grateful to have found 7 Cups because this is home base for me. Thank you so much for all your help and support!
CLM
@FaithfulPrune9638 Hello, welcome to General Support Community! I am glad that you have reached out to here. Yes, we are always with you here as your support ❤😀 And it's really hurtful when people around us are too judgemental and doubt on us, I totally get you ☹ And do you feel it's okay to apologies again? What's your inner voice says about it?
Hey there! Just an update on last weekend:
After that big argument including assault and battery, shoving me into a sink with a table and I hit back, and his "apologies", he got sick on Monday from the fighting and I refuse to go into their bedroom to even put socks away. I put their socks and underwear in a recycling shopping bag for her to take up. Also, I rightfully did not accept the apologies because he is still treating me the same way, screaming and yelling at me to be a certain way and I'm staying away from him as much as possible and talking to him less and less and same with her for the same reason. That's okay. I know who I can talk to and who I can't and supposedly I can talk to them about anything even at 3:00 am. What's screwed up is that I'm 41 years old and I get internet rights taken away for no reason. He takes phones away from me and will even break them in front of me, then say they are " helping" me, and threatens to throw out my medicine. I get screamed at at called all kinds of names, then told they are "talking" to me and I have no right to get mad. I can't get counseling because I will "blame" them, can't find a job because I will be "forcing" my children on them, and can't move out because they will take my kids away. I am literally stuck between a rock and a hard place and the only thing I can think of to deal with this is death. I know there are other positive ways to pull through this, not to mention the pain of the ex-boyfriend caused me years ago and the things that went down that I mentioned in the other post. This is everything mixed together and it has been a living hell. So, here's the past week. I'll keep you posted!