Everyone Is Normal, Even YOU!
First of all, I am a Listener, and this was taken from my personal blog: [MonBon removed personal contact info]
In this world, we have to live with those that call us various words, that do some horrific things to people that they say they love, that we with people that judge us and cheat and walk out on us just cause of who or what you are. Those type of people can make us feel so lost, wondering " why me ", we keep hoping that these people will change and we keep forgiving them time and time again, and they continue time and time again almost as if their sorries mean nothing, like all this time they had an agenda, and only had one thing on their mind, which was to punish, cheat, abuse, control, or worse. Some people keep hoping that things will change, and keep everything inside so much that even when the person is finally gone, we start feeling like we have lost something in us, For example, your abusive partner leaves, but you are being taken advantaged of by others, and now you are hoping that they will change, you keep forgiving them, even when they do anything they can to take advantage of you. It can even get to the point where you are labeled as something that you believe and know deep down that your not.
You should never change yourself for or cause of others, but knowing how much is going on in your life, you may have to just turn your life around, take a break from those places where you feel so bad about yourself later, and take the time to really think about yourself, what matters to you, think about your health, your well being, and what you can do to feel more comfortable about yourself. Think of your past experiences as just that, an experience, maybe you went to parties and all those crazy places and had a life like some may not other be able to experience or want to, but you got to experience things, then have seen the dark side to that type of life, is that really what you want your future to be like, or do you want something way different than that? Think about yourself and keep yourself safe and comfortable and happy, and never lose yourself to them, take what really matters the most to you, and do what you got to do to have what truly matters to you.
I did not fully understand your point but I did get some of it, so I post for this for feedback. I am an EXCEPTIONAL listener. The problem I face is my wife's definition of listening is doing what she says, or asks, or requests (if you want to bring symantics into it). I can say back 100% of what she says to me, I can even put what she says into my owns words. At that point that listening is over. Now approx. 92.8679% (I use a strange number to show that I am aware this it is most of of the time but I cannot truly evaluate the amount) I do not agree with what she is requesting I do. So despite how much she screams, yells, cries, whatever...... I am not going to take an action that I to my core do not agrees with. Then she lable me as not listening to her???? As I said I am an exceptional listener. People seem to like to talk to me, but all they want is a listener, my issue is with my wife is she wants actions after the listening and if I do not agree with the actions i will not take them regardless of how she presents them (yelling, crying, screaming, throwing word around like "if you loved me"...ect ect...) Yet I am a GREAT LISTENER!!!!!