Celaeno and Zara's Treehouse
@Celaeno, hey there, sweetest blossom of the world. I wanted to communicate with you, but the Feed is rather limited, so I hope this works as a compromise. That being said, please don't feel pressured to post back if you're not up to it, I just want you to know that I'm thinking about you. I did post this with a particular reason, but I hope I can talk to you here a little regularly if you ever like to. I think naming it a treehouse is pretty cute, don't you think? c:
You're such an incredibly supportive and sugar-sweet spirit (to coin a technique); it astounds me to no end to see the lengths you to go to just to ensure that people aren't feeling alone in their struggles and that there's someone out there who cares greatly - your heart is one in a lifetime. It's so inspiring, to see you so diligent and compassionate. But something else that always strikes me as beautiful is your strength to recognise when things aren't going too great or you're not feeling as good as you'd like, letting people know this while looking after yourself. You have an indomitable soul.
I noticed that you mentioned the depression hit you quite horribly over the weekend, and that was the last tap that finally encouraged me to find a way to properly reach out and chat with you. Depression... it's so difficult, and so painful, as your experience has shown you. In some ways, the pain of depression surpasses all else, consuming our thoughts and emotions until we're filled with lowness, misery and negativity. It's hell, but an invisible and lonely one, which is even worse. I know that words can't always make the biggest difference, but know that I mean it with all my heart when I say that I'm here for you. While depression can be the cruellest tyrant out there, you're also the strongest warrior for dealing with it and still surviving. This isn't your fault that you're going through this, nor is this something that defines your whole character. I also know that sometimes it can be too hard to realise that we're worth love and support when our mind seems to be fighting against us, but do know this: you are worth more than 500 million universes combined. All this suffering can be so exhausting, especially when it's on an ongoing basis and you're just so incredibly tired. Let me remind you that for every step you struggle with, I'll hoist you up. Because Samwise Gamgee is quite possibly one of the wisest literary characters, I'll drop a sagacious quote of his: "I can't carry it for you, but I can carry you." I am here for you, and I have your back, lovely. I hope you don't mind me asking this but sometimes it helps me to reflect, is there something in particular that keeps you going or inspires you each day - a mantra, a goal, a person perhaps?
How did your Monday go? I presume it's already Tuesday where you are, I recall reading one of your old posts where you mentioned that your timezone is quite far ahead. I hope you have a really brilliant week up ahead, beautiful Celaeno warrior. If it's half as wonderful as you, it's already 100000000 times better than anything else, so I'd be content. I was actually reading through an article and thought of you, I'll hunt it down soon and drop it your way. Do you have any plans for the week? Put 'surviving' on your achievement list of today, sweet one, because you've made it and you already have a 100% track record.
Sending hugs and love, always. ❤
@ZaraSmiles
Ahh..... This is a beautiful post Zara, for a wonderful supportive member, @Celaeno, I find you both amazing people! ❤️
@ZaraSmiles, I'm terribly, terribly sorry for not responding earlier. When you created this thread, I was in pretty low state of mind and body, as you are perfectly aware, but I've read it immediately, because I knew that your quiet kindness and positivity will lift me up. And I wasn't wrong - I've read your post twice and I cried and I smiled and I felt calmer. Your words did make a difference.
I know how vain I may sound when I admit that reading a praise on my silly self made me feel better, but it's true. Anyone being compared to the Samwise Gamgee must feel flattered ^^ Thank you for giving me strength and hope when I need it the most. Thank you for reassuring me that I'm not alone. You're an incredibly sweet and loving person, smart and funny, and I feel so happy and moved that I have a chance to chat with you in this community. I'd love to have you as a friend when I was a teenager, because you would teach me the value of kindness and optimism. You would show me that's there is no shame in reaching out and asking for help. You would probably save me from years of suffering in silence, but still I'm incredibly glad to have met you a decade later. I'm thankful that you're here helping other teens find their strength. You are making this world a little better, my little sunshine, I really think so ❤︎
Also, I love the name you've chosen for this thread - I always wanted to have a treehouse and now I have one with you ^^ You've asked is there something which helps me to keep going or inspire me - I'm not really sure; what keeps me going is often my own sheer stubbornness, as childish as it sounds. But there are some people who inspire me, even if I don't believe in authority of any kind. One of them is Stephen Fry. When I was in my first major depressive episode and I've struggled with suicidal ideation I've read the first part of his biography and it literally saved my life. I always admired this men's intellect and kindness and wit, but it was only after I've learned how much he struggled with his own brain, how much he suffered from it, I've fall in love with his attitude, his flaw, his shortcomings, his raw and burtal honesty. It opened my eyes on the mental health issues and the meaning of saving yourself. I believed for so long that if I feel worthless, I must be worthless, but there was this men who has similar thoughts, who doesn't hide his self-hatred, who drowns in misery of the depression and mania, and it doesn't define him. He is so much more than the disorder, he is brilliant and loved by so many people. His story about his suicide ideation lift me up from the darkness, and they keep doing that every time now I have to experience them again. It was him who encouraged me to seek out help and reach out for professional help after five or six years of living in silent pain. He was the first one who taught me emotional honesty - 7 Cups and wonderful people like yourself came later ^^
Fry puts his faith into humanity and curiosity and love and I'm trying my best to follow that direction in my own life. The knowledge that there are people like him in this world gives me strength to not give in to the despair. What about you, lovely? What is your answer for that question, if I may ask?
My Monday was pretty tough, but I managed to pick myself up since then, thanks to the lots of kind messages and self-forgiveness. My time zone isn't so far ahead from yours - I'm in the GMT+2 ^^ I know how busy you are right now, and that's why I appreciate your post even more. You give me your time when it's so precious for you. How is the school so far, darling? Have you found your footing or is it getting more hectic and messy?
I don't know what are your own personal struggles, but I hope you're taking care of yourself, too, my wonderful. You can count on my support in the midst of the battle and during the peace of dawn. I recognize your bravery and I'd love to stand alongside you on the battlefield, fellow warrior ❤︎
All of my love!
Beautiful warrior spirit @Celaeno, please don't ever feel like there is a need for you to apologise to me, least of all for something that means you're taking care of yourself. Plus, I'm one to talk, my replies have been dreadfully slow, for no other reason that the plague of the mind, so I really do understand. But, when I saw your reply, I was really excited to reply back to you, as silly as that sounds. It means a lot, perhaps even more than that, that my words made a little difference, which is all I could ask for as warming that heart of yours even by a little is already my hugest accomplishment.
I won't deny that some could interpret taking an honest compliment as vanity, but I think the exact opposite; I believe it's beautiful when someone can take something beautiful said about them and feel special because of it. You are, perhaps, a person likened so closely to Samwise that you two would be tighter than blood in real life. When reading or watching LOTR, the main protagonist would be Frodo, and I really don't deny how much of a struggle he went through. At the same time, I think Sam is the main character, but in the sense that he's not in the limelight for it which he's okay with. But, his unwavering strength caused the perseverance of others, his wisdom was a supporting backbone, his friendship was practically a lifeline. How could one not compare his very character to yours? Although I do think that you could still teach him a thing or two. Concerning this, I actually have a sort of idea which is probably a little silly, and I have gone on about this a little too long, but what can I say, when it comes to books, I could talk forever! But, yes, I had a LOTR marathon the other day and this time, I took a few more words to heart because some quotes just resonate so deeply - in which The One Ring played the part of depression, and the burdening effects of carring the Ring could be likened to that of depression. Take one of Frodo's quotes, "I can't manage the Ring, Sam. It's... it's... it's... such a weight to carry. It's... such a weight." It just struck me really close to my heart, and I realised that it's the perfect metaphor for the suffering of depression. I'm actually thinking of creating a thread about it, but I also just Googled this now and found a cool article about it here. Anyway, I'm a little off-track, I wanted to remind you of one quote of dear ol' Tolkien's: "It is not the strength of the body, but the strength of the spirit." And your spirit? Man, your spirit. It'll keep on going, throughout all the bad days. Even when the storm hits so hard and all you can do is find shelter, that's already something massive in itself. You can do this.
Your paragraph is so adorable and sweet, just like you; your compassionate words really ring through my mind because I can't help but feel special when someone I admire so much would be so lovely. Regardless of timing, regardless of ages, regardless of the internet, regardless of life's circumstances, I am so glad that I got to meet you. Everyone says that it's the listeners who help the members, but in all honesty, I think the members make an even bigger impact on our lives - or mine, at least. I'm so grateful that you're here, that you exist, that I'm talking to you. And that out of all the lands and seas in the world, I'm lucky enough to be able to share this little treehouse with you. Sometimes treehouses aren't sturdy enough to withstand bad weather, but know that no matter what, we'll patch it up. Together?
Sheer stubbornness is something you can own, and something you should definitely be proud of. It doesn't seem childish to me, but even if it is, I have a persistent belief that everyone has a lot of 'child' within them, a potential that can still reach as far and wide as adulthood. Just by staying stubborn and persistent to keep on going, that's more than enough. And some days, it may just be enough. Whichever it is, it's a means of you continuing which is something to hold on to. It's amazing for you to be able to recognise that, you know? As for who inspires you... My breath is taken away. The way Stephen Fry has impacted you is a story of timeless inspiration, and finding a source of comfort amidst the darkness is as important as oxygen. I just want to echo back your own words, but to you instead, because they're very accurate. You are so much more than the disorder, you are brilliant and loved by so many people. The despair is so horrible indeed and it saddens me to know that you have to endure the pain so frequently, a burden that your shoulders don't deserve. But like you said, you are finding strength, and that will keep on growing and going. Even on days that it seems like you're walking backwards, the strength of your spirit remains. I also know what it's like to suffer from suicidal ideation, and I'm guessing it makes days even bleaker and cloudier to find any source of light to grab onto. Surviving is a feat that is often underestimated but it's a feat that should be most appreciated. I also have an author like that... Matt Haig, in fact. I have his book, 'Reasons to Stay Alive' and it's a bit childish to say but I'm afraid of opening that book. Afraid of what, I'm not sure, but there it is. I've seen excerpts and witnessed his determination to spread awareness and fight stigma on his Twitter, and it's inspirational. Have you ever read or heard of him? ^^ Also, have you ever read articles from The Mighty newsletter? I think you'd enjoy it a lot, if not already.
In answer to your question, firstly know that you can always ask anything. On my part, I'm not too sure what keeps me going. A lot of the time, it's hope in humanity. For the people who are homeless on the streets who chat with me when I go up to them in the mornings. For the people on the train who would offer me a seat after I offer mine. For the people who love the excitement of others around their babies. For the people who write books, in the hopes that their words could offer an escape to readers. For the people who struggle with mental illness each day. For the people who suffer from its stigma silently, and I'm going to be a part of ending that. For the people who are people, because living as a person in this day and age can often be as difficult as anything else. I owe it to the world and to myself to make a difference, which will forever and always remain my goal.
I'm so glad to hear that your day has progressed a little better since Monday, I hope you were taking good care of yourself? Oooh, someone towards my end of the time spectrum, that's a cool piece of info! I think one thing you can count on is that I'll always try to give you my time, even if it's limited. School is coping fairly well right now; I think all of us are hilariously falling behind in our homework pile already, despite it being the second week only! I'm quite proud of myself, I've been working through the low motivation but keeping it at a pace where it won't harm me either which is quite good. Other life things are the parts getting messy, but it's nothing I can't handle. Other than that, it's well, I've had some good news of two of my teachers being pregnant and I'm totally calling dibs on an auntie spot, haha. One thing I'm particularly excited about is a charity campaign we're working on; it's for 3 causes and one of them is mental health, which is pretty darn cool if I say so myself! How are your studies going? What are you currently studying? (If you still are doing so)
It's Friday, which means it's almost the weekend, which is a guilty pleasure for almost all of us. I hope it's one filled with good things for you, do let me know how it goes. I think any army would quiver in fear if we marched into battle together, we can totally kick anything to the curb. I think you're brilliant, if I haven't said that already. Do you have a favourite book? What's the latest book you've read? I look forward to hearing from my wonderful fellow warrior, but please only reply when you're up to it, I'd hate for you to strain yourself if you're already feeling down. I care about you a lot, if I haven't made that obvious. But I know you're one of the strongest people to exist.
Shall I deign you with a very hilarious (possibly bad) pun? I think it's my favourite one. How does NASA organise its parties? They...PLANET! I hope you laugh at the corniness of the joke or at my goofy ability to be cracking up with laughter at it even if I've said it about 200 times already!
It's just past midnight now and I think I wrote far too much as I took over an hour to write this all, please excuse my rambling. I'm heading off, I hope you're able to catch some sleep soon, or some rest. How has your sleep schedule been, sweet one? Good night, lovely, I'll look for a star tonight and know that you shine even brighter.
Anyone would be mad to deny that Helen Keller is one of the coolest women in existence, so I'll drop a quote of hers here before I leave and I think it hits the nail on the head pretty well: Although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it.
All my love and hugs, forever. ❤
(I may have a thing for quotes, pfft)
@ZaraSmiles, I know that we both should be on the break, and that I haven't respond to your last awesome post, but I just wanted to say that seeing you in here, even for these short moments of your activity, is bringing a huge smile on my face ^^ I tend to associate your name with such optimism and kindness, it cheers me up immediately. You're like a rainbow boost ❤︎
So that's a short message saying that you're awesome, lovely. I hope that you're taking good care of your precious self in this hectic life, that's all ^^; All the love!