Am I ready

To trust again, It feels right to let them back in and also trust in myself after the longest time of soul searching and self improvement I've had to date but I've hit a wall a big wall of anxiety if these are the right things for me, which inside points to yes I also know that this on one hand could all be a pipe dream ready to burst and I will never recover from

The thing is I've never done for me until recently and ultimately this situation scares the hell out of me, thankfully with online courses these days you can start whenever you want compared to actually needing to do a course via physically going to a university and starting whe they specify I'm setting currently out the blueprints and going to do it because I want to and because it will set me up with a passion of mine that I hope to lead as a career. Which I forsee will help in the next stage of my life's plan.

Now trusting others is the hardest test of myself that and getting married (yes even little boys that become gentlemen dream of the day to), but that's a whole other few hundred forum threads. Oops a short tangent there, anyway, I'm reconnecting and forging new relationships that I know need to earn trust, but after being hurt in most of the relationship types (usually being taken for granted) I feel within that I'm being overwhelmed because some of these relationships feel as they are happening again, I know I can walk away but for me it's not that straight forward because most of the time in my headspace I don't want to let anyone down or again burden, which I may have said in a previous post to.

This negative thought sequence is hard to shake when I'm trying to face down my fears and show myself I'm not scared which I hope has a flow on effect to others who are around me.

Thanks again for taking the time to read or reply as I'm just trying to make sense of this world even if it's newer and unknown to me, there are parts that still terrify me and some that I am comfortable and that feel natural.

- Ink