A Space For The Unsaid (Personal Diary)
Uh hello if anyone is reading this! 😀
I have no idea why I'm even creating this thread but i just feel it will be nice to have a place to share some thoughts or even these images on the internet that i always keep saving for myself because i relate too much but cannot share it with anyone because yes haha
I'm okay with replies here so feel free to drop by anytime ❤️
Just please be kind and respectful if your replying to my posts.
💀
Yeah probably not my best either but whatever 💀
@Optimisticempath And that whatever that you are doing matters <3 ^-^ cause it helps keep a nice human being like you here and keeps you going, so I am thankful to that whatever :) keep being you. Also relatable pic ^^'
@BlueDarkAurora
I missed you 🥺
thankyou for always having this positive perspective on everything, you made my whatever sound better too lol it is unbelievable 🥺
you vv lovely, I'm happy you're doing your best also ❤
how you been?
feeling ok today I think, it's funny that ok feels so luxurious lol 🤓
I think everyone's ok is different, I'm trying to assess what my ok really means 😅
sometimes it means "I am not having bad thoughts currently"
sometimes it means "arh idk what to tell you so I'm going to say I'm ok so you don't ask further"
sometimes it can be "I'm telling you I'm ok but please notice I'm not really okay and just maybe make me feel cared for or something....."
sometimes it is "I feel absolutely nothing at this time, so absense of anything significantly bad is ok maybe"
sometimes it is "even idk what/ how I feel but let's just shove it under ok because whatever"
sometimes it is just "ok..."
and counting xD
currently I think, I'm feeling nothing really significantly, an absence of any strong emotions or thoughts..... I'm just there I guess.... just uh existing :') which is ok kinda 🙃
~ random rambling!
@Optimisticempath Aw and you deserve to get back 1000% more of what you give to others<3 Your pain and struggles don't have the power to put even one bad mark on your beautiful soul, you shine more than anything else cause of your pure heart. I appreciate you ^-^
@BlueDarkAurora that really is so sweet of you.... idk any good way to reply to this... 😢 are you always like this ?? I do hope you're always like this , kind, caring, positive, concerned and loving but not just with others, with yourself too , specially with yourself ❤ I appreciate you more 😢
*makes you feel vv nice* (please feel vv nice 🥺 you is vv nice person)
@Optimisticempath I try to be <3 and you don't have to say anything back, you are allowed to just receive love and warmth and keep it in your heart cause sometimes words don't do justice to how things make us feel and that's okay. :) Thank you.
@BlueDarkAurora you ace the trying hehe <3
aw that's truly such a lovely thing to hear, vv true, thankyou <3
@Optimisticempath Thank you ^-^
@Optimisticempath Hey :) just wanted to check in and see how things are in the world of OptiBear ❤️
@mytwistedsoul Hello :) just wanted to say you are a beautiful soul <3
@BlueDarkAurora Thank you :) it's so nice for you to say that ❤️
@mytwistedsoul
OptiBear 🥰
so good to see you always , thankyou for checking on me , it really is so caring of you ❤
I'm doing ok currently i think (absense of any significant emotion/ thought, might be me actively trying to block feeling anything but I prefer numb over awful💀)
how is everything on your end?
@Optimisticempath *hugs* 😊 I see you! Dropping off little lights for people ❤️ Not to sound like a stalker or anything 😳 just cruising the site
Ok is good and numb is definitely better then feeling awful. um - we're here for you - if you need an ear
Today isn't too terribly awful - just realized I'm tired lol - thank you for asking ❤️
@mytwistedsoul
lol it's ok , thankyou so much for seeing me 🙈 , I like cruising the site too and I see you around too being your vv amazing self ❤
thankyou that really means alot to me *sits with you* me already feeling better with you around 🥰
aw I'm happy it wasn't too terrible ... tiring :o did Soul go on any adventures today?😁
you want to catch some rest soon?
*sending comfort vibes *
@Optimisticempath Sorry for earlier 😳
I'm only a tag away ok? ❤️
Nope no adventures - just work trying to get ready for colder weather. We could get close to four feet of snow this year - at least that's what they're predicting anyway
I'm still trying to catch some rest. Sleep has just been bad this week
Thank you for the comfort vibes *hugs* sending some good vibes back to you ❤️
OptiBear 😊
@mytwistedsoul optibear makes me smile 😄
nuu, you no need to be sorry 😮 it's okiees to take time to reply
thankyou for being a tag away 🥺 me too a tag away for you ❤
oh I can imagine the hassle :( that sounds a lot of snow
very random question Haha, do you like snow in general?
oh no sleep is bad :( something preventing you to get a good sleep?? Me here if you wanna share or need some company till you fall asleep ❤ sometimes it's the thoughts in our brain that keep us up :( having them somewhere other than our brain could help maybe 😅
I tried a sleep meditation podcast recently, it was nice and I think I could give it more trying to see good results :o have you tried any sleep music/ meditation audios etc that may help to sleep better (better is luxurious sometimes huh? Sorry, just sleep is fine too sometimes I understand 😅)?
thankyou for everything 🥺 I always count you in my blessings these days , and truly wish the best for you always 💗 I care about you and would really like to make you feel as safe and cared for as you make me too, if there's anything I can ever do please do let me know 🤗
*good vibes walk right in with your tags heheh* 🥰 sending huggieees back
@Optimisticempath I'm glad it makes you smile and tbh - that makes me smile ❤️
Do I like snow - hmm - well yes and no lol! I like to watch it snow and I like to play in the snow - even cleaning it up isn't that bad - but I don't like being cold. Does it snow in your part of the world?
I have alot of nightmares - childhood stuff and a very unfriendly headspace at times - the past never really seems to be far away. I've tried a few of those sleep things on YouTube - I do like to listen to the rain at night but thunder and wind can cause anxiety sometimes. There's fear if there's too much noise those childhood monsters will sneak in and there won't be any getting away from them and sometimes I'm just afraid to close my eyes - which feels embarrassing to admit
Oh gosh Opti - that made me tear up alittle tbh - I'm so glad I make you feel safe and cared for. I really do care about you and I just want you to know that you're never alone - no matter how far apart we might be I'm allways sending you good vibes and thoughts because you are a really amazing person and you deserve so many good things in your life and I do feel blessed just knowing you. Thank YOU for everything - for being you - for making me smile - for not minding that I invade your space and for just being here ❤️
@mytwistedsoul
Aw we both smiling hehe😄
haha that makes sense, It doesn't snow where I am but can be pretty chilly during winters , it does feel too cold but I like the winter season too , something about it feels quite cozy 🥰
Would love to play in snow too D: *wraps you in heavy jackets and then throws a snow ball, so you no feel too cold* 😃
I'm really sorry to know about the past memories, and childhood monsters , they sound terrifying and vvv mean to bother such a kind person like you *Yeeets all meanie stuff* D: it was embarrassing to admit for you and yet you did, makes me really proud of you <3 you can always say what you want to without any fear of judgement here oki? your comfort matters always so always when you're ready only <3 would soul like to try closing eyes slowly and imagining a safe, comfy, happy space ? it could be filled with everything that makes you feel nice , your animals too hehe, any favorite memories, people, words ... imagine putting big banners of your favorite words or just words that you find comfort in , you can even imagine unicorns in your safe space 😁 it is your space after all , it should have anything that makes you feel protected, away from the monsters and bad memories ❤ lose yourself to drift away in this imagination <3 (you can even imagine optibear waving at you and telling you that you're doing great and can fall asleep now, you're safe vv safe here 🥰)
@mytwistedsoul
aw now we both crying haha🥺 thankyouuu for everything, you are so warm and loving and caring always 🥺
it means alot to me , more than you'll ever know ❤ ❤ ❤
taking all these lovely words and keeping them in my safe box hehe ❤
you are never invading, intruding, or being too much here 🤗 always love having you around
*keeps hugging*
*overthinking about overthinking* 🤯 eww brain shooo 😖
@Optimisticempath *sits with you and tells OptiBear's brain to behave* I'm sorry if I'm being annoying 😬 Just tell me ok - if it's too much or anything and I can step back