A Space For The Unsaid (Personal Diary)
Uh hello if anyone is reading this! 😀
I have no idea why I'm even creating this thread but i just feel it will be nice to have a place to share some thoughts or even these images on the internet that i always keep saving for myself because i relate too much but cannot share it with anyone because yes haha
I'm okay with replies here so feel free to drop by anytime ❤️
Just please be kind and respectful if your replying to my posts.
💀
Yeah probably not my best either but whatever 💀
@Optimisticempath And that whatever that you are doing matters <3 ^-^ cause it helps keep a nice human being like you here and keeps you going, so I am thankful to that whatever :) keep being you. Also relatable pic ^^'
@BlueDarkAurora
I missed you 🥺
thankyou for always having this positive perspective on everything, you made my whatever sound better too lol it is unbelievable 🥺
you vv lovely, I'm happy you're doing your best also ❤
how you been?
feeling ok today I think, it's funny that ok feels so luxurious lol 🤓
I think everyone's ok is different, I'm trying to assess what my ok really means 😅
sometimes it means "I am not having bad thoughts currently"
sometimes it means "arh idk what to tell you so I'm going to say I'm ok so you don't ask further"
sometimes it can be "I'm telling you I'm ok but please notice I'm not really okay and just maybe make me feel cared for or something....."
sometimes it is "I feel absolutely nothing at this time, so absense of anything significantly bad is ok maybe"
sometimes it is "even idk what/ how I feel but let's just shove it under ok because whatever"
sometimes it is just "ok..."
and counting xD
currently I think, I'm feeling nothing really significantly, an absence of any strong emotions or thoughts..... I'm just there I guess.... just uh existing :') which is ok kinda 🙃
~ random rambling!
@Optimisticempath Aw and you deserve to get back 1000% more of what you give to others<3 Your pain and struggles don't have the power to put even one bad mark on your beautiful soul, you shine more than anything else cause of your pure heart. I appreciate you ^-^
@BlueDarkAurora that really is so sweet of you.... idk any good way to reply to this... 😢 are you always like this ?? I do hope you're always like this , kind, caring, positive, concerned and loving but not just with others, with yourself too , specially with yourself ❤ I appreciate you more 😢
*makes you feel vv nice* (please feel vv nice 🥺 you is vv nice person)
@Optimisticempath I try to be <3 and you don't have to say anything back, you are allowed to just receive love and warmth and keep it in your heart cause sometimes words don't do justice to how things make us feel and that's okay. :) Thank you.
@BlueDarkAurora you ace the trying hehe <3
aw that's truly such a lovely thing to hear, vv true, thankyou <3
@Optimisticempath Thank you ^-^
@Optimisticempath Hey :) just wanted to check in and see how things are in the world of OptiBear ❤️
@mytwistedsoul
OptiBear 🥰
so good to see you always , thankyou for checking on me , it really is so caring of you ❤
I'm doing ok currently i think (absense of any significant emotion/ thought, might be me actively trying to block feeling anything but I prefer numb over awful💀)
how is everything on your end?
@Optimisticempath *hugs* 😊 I see you! Dropping off little lights for people ❤️ Not to sound like a stalker or anything 😳 just cruising the site
Ok is good and numb is definitely better then feeling awful. um - we're here for you - if you need an ear
Today isn't too terribly awful - just realized I'm tired lol - thank you for asking ❤️
@mytwistedsoul
lol it's ok , thankyou so much for seeing me 🙈 , I like cruising the site too and I see you around too being your vv amazing self ❤
thankyou that really means alot to me *sits with you* me already feeling better with you around 🥰
aw I'm happy it wasn't too terrible ... tiring :o did Soul go on any adventures today?😁
you want to catch some rest soon?
*sending comfort vibes *
@Optimisticempath Sorry for earlier 😳
I'm only a tag away ok? ❤️
Nope no adventures - just work trying to get ready for colder weather. We could get close to four feet of snow this year - at least that's what they're predicting anyway
I'm still trying to catch some rest. Sleep has just been bad this week
Thank you for the comfort vibes *hugs* sending some good vibes back to you ❤️
OptiBear 😊
@mytwistedsoul optibear makes me smile 😄
nuu, you no need to be sorry 😮 it's okiees to take time to reply
thankyou for being a tag away 🥺 me too a tag away for you ❤
oh I can imagine the hassle :( that sounds a lot of snow
very random question Haha, do you like snow in general?
oh no sleep is bad :( something preventing you to get a good sleep?? Me here if you wanna share or need some company till you fall asleep ❤ sometimes it's the thoughts in our brain that keep us up :( having them somewhere other than our brain could help maybe 😅
I tried a sleep meditation podcast recently, it was nice and I think I could give it more trying to see good results :o have you tried any sleep music/ meditation audios etc that may help to sleep better (better is luxurious sometimes huh? Sorry, just sleep is fine too sometimes I understand 😅)?
thankyou for everything 🥺 I always count you in my blessings these days , and truly wish the best for you always 💗 I care about you and would really like to make you feel as safe and cared for as you make me too, if there's anything I can ever do please do let me know 🤗
*good vibes walk right in with your tags heheh* 🥰 sending huggieees back
@Optimisticempath I'm glad it makes you smile and tbh - that makes me smile ❤️
Do I like snow - hmm - well yes and no lol! I like to watch it snow and I like to play in the snow - even cleaning it up isn't that bad - but I don't like being cold. Does it snow in your part of the world?
I have alot of nightmares - childhood stuff and a very unfriendly headspace at times - the past never really seems to be far away. I've tried a few of those sleep things on YouTube - I do like to listen to the rain at night but thunder and wind can cause anxiety sometimes. There's fear if there's too much noise those childhood monsters will sneak in and there won't be any getting away from them and sometimes I'm just afraid to close my eyes - which feels embarrassing to admit
Oh gosh Opti - that made me tear up alittle tbh - I'm so glad I make you feel safe and cared for. I really do care about you and I just want you to know that you're never alone - no matter how far apart we might be I'm allways sending you good vibes and thoughts because you are a really amazing person and you deserve so many good things in your life and I do feel blessed just knowing you. Thank YOU for everything - for being you - for making me smile - for not minding that I invade your space and for just being here ❤️
@mytwistedsoul
Aw we both smiling hehe😄
haha that makes sense, It doesn't snow where I am but can be pretty chilly during winters , it does feel too cold but I like the winter season too , something about it feels quite cozy 🥰
Would love to play in snow too D: *wraps you in heavy jackets and then throws a snow ball, so you no feel too cold* 😃
I'm really sorry to know about the past memories, and childhood monsters , they sound terrifying and vvv mean to bother such a kind person like you *Yeeets all meanie stuff* D: it was embarrassing to admit for you and yet you did, makes me really proud of you <3 you can always say what you want to without any fear of judgement here oki? your comfort matters always so always when you're ready only <3 would soul like to try closing eyes slowly and imagining a safe, comfy, happy space ? it could be filled with everything that makes you feel nice , your animals too hehe, any favorite memories, people, words ... imagine putting big banners of your favorite words or just words that you find comfort in , you can even imagine unicorns in your safe space 😁 it is your space after all , it should have anything that makes you feel protected, away from the monsters and bad memories ❤ lose yourself to drift away in this imagination <3 (you can even imagine optibear waving at you and telling you that you're doing great and can fall asleep now, you're safe vv safe here 🥰)
@mytwistedsoul
aw now we both crying haha🥺 thankyouuu for everything, you are so warm and loving and caring always 🥺
it means alot to me , more than you'll ever know ❤ ❤ ❤
taking all these lovely words and keeping them in my safe box hehe ❤
you are never invading, intruding, or being too much here 🤗 always love having you around
*keeps hugging*
@mytwistedsoul Hello :) just wanted to say you are a beautiful soul <3
@BlueDarkAurora Thank you :) it's so nice for you to say that ❤️
*overthinking about overthinking* 🤯 eww brain shooo 😖
@Optimisticempath *sits with you and tells OptiBear's brain to behave* I'm sorry if I'm being annoying 😬 Just tell me ok - if it's too much or anything and I can step back
@mytwistedsoul nuu I like sitting with you, never can be too much 🥺🥺❤❤
yes please scare brain away 😖
I read your reply after i typed this and it helped me feel better and distracted from earlier , so thankyou for that also , you help without even knowing you do 🤗
@Optimisticempath Figured I'd reply at the bottom because they stole the reply buttons *smh*
*throws a snowball back* 😁 There's some good hills to sled down and building snow people can be fun too
I'm glad you have a safe box to keep the good words in. I've been trying to hold the kind words I get close too. Its funny in a way - the power that words can have. How they can really lift a person up or in some cases tear things down and it can be hard to hold on to the good words but the bad tend to linger. Someone told me it's because of the emotions that are involved with the bad words but Idk
Its very sweet of you to offer. ❤️ *hugs* Thank you - this is your space. I try not to bring too much of my stuff onto others personal threads
I'll have to try that - I might imagine OptiBear with a helmet 😊
I like sitting with you too and I'm really glad that what I wrote helped distract you and helped you feel better ❤️
*gives OptiBear's brain a stern talking to and says brain must be nice*
Stay awesome ok? Be safe and try to be gentle with yourself and your thoughts *hugs* ❤️
@mytwistedsoul
aw they always steal our reply buttons @_@
It is funnnn 😄 wow have you tried sledging? I would love to someday but I guess it'll involve a lot of falling lmao
Yes I try also it's hard tho, also when you don't remember you had a safe box when you need it the most smh :') happens haha... aw I understand that , bad stuff really seems to hold on very tight to us 😐 along with the "bad" emotions too :( glad there's atleast some good stuff to comfort at times.... we all deserve some good thoughts too hehe :')
*sends lots of good thoughts your way* ❤
oh no please don't think like that for this space atleast, I don't mind sharing spaces hehe you're welcome to say whatever you like or need anytime 🤗
Awwww thankchuuu for telling my brain off 🥺 they better be listening to you
yes optibear with helmet 🥰
always so kind ❤❤❤❤ I'll try hehe , you be gentle and nice to yourself also *hugs back*
@Optimisticempath I think you had the right idea with them taking the replies up to ten 🙂
I've been sledding alot and there is falling involved but that's half the fun sometimes lol 😁
It can be hard to remember that safe box - there are even times when we might remember it but we're in no mood to open it - in no mood to pull out those nice warm words
I hope brain behaved. I'd like to say that I'm sorry for what happened last evening. I hope you know that it wasn't a reflection of you but of the other person and it was undeserved * in case brain wanted to grab onto any of it to use against you in anyway*
* sending strength and peace to you OptiBear* ❤️ *hugs*
@mytwistedsoul
Oh noiii we lost the reply buttons again 😋 yes 10 should be better xD
aw I love this and can imagine how falling would constitute half the fun lol 😆
yes you know it.... it is hard and sometimes we make it harder for ourselves .... a vicious cycle lmao 😭 *hugs*
Omg soul I read your reply here first and was a bit confused and then i saw that post ... idk what to say ... some people are really beyond me... 😣 I try (vvvv hard) not to let people get too much to me because honestly brain's got enough of it... don't need no random people on the internet to make me feel any worse than I already do ... like "good try buddy but nope, not happening, not allowing you to make it any worse , just shooo the f away💀" ... but yeah as said it is hard :') xD... I am just glad I came to it on a later date and so i really just tried to move past the comment quickly :') ... what made me cry (kind acts make me cry lmao🥺) was how you stood up for me .. I mean you honestly didnt have to ... but you did and Idk If I deserve this much kindness but thankyou it made me feel really nice ... I appreciate your considerate nature and your kind heart so much 🥺😭
thankyou for being so caring 🥺 *huggles tight* ❤
@Optimisticempath I have to admit I was torn on whether to say anything here about the other thread. It was a case of should I or shouldn't I?I'm still not sure tbh. I guess I just wanted to offer a more personal apology to you. I'm glad you came into it at a later time. I was hoping you didn't see what was said. I know what you mean about people making you feel worse. Words can really stick with you - even from random people on the internet - especially when we might allready have some version of them inside us 😞
Kindness and kind words towards me make me cry too - with much head shaking no no no - you've got the wrong person going on. I don't know what you've been through - I don't know your past but I'm guessing kindness is something that you didn't get much? 😞 *big hugs* I know I didn't have to stand up for you but it wouldn't have felt right if I didn't. Imp stood up for you too so I can't take all the credit. But we stood up for you because you do deserve that Opti - you really do ❤️
*big hugs* ❤️
@mytwistedsoul
aw I can understand that and it's oki, I really appreciate you for being so thoughtful ❤
that makes sense some words cut deeper :( soul im sorry if you had to hear something bad in that thread too ...... 🥺 I know even reading stuff like that can be very demoralising! Still thankyou for standing up, both you and imp, I'm really grateful to the both of you for just being your kind self (I'm trying to imagine this in a reversed space and I get why you'd feel it would be wrong to not say anything ... I wouldn't appreciate unkind words for someone either 🥺 so just a big thankyou for that ... I like having you in my world❤ )
Aw yes relatable haha 😭 "talking to me??" XD ... mhm yeah not very receptive of kindness 😅 feels like a new concept... but eh whatever 🙈
*big hugs back*
Awwwww me heart is just melteddd 😢😢 thankyouu ... I don't even know if thankyou suffices to this, it really doesn't but I just... it means a lot to me ... more than anything... thankyou so so so much ❤❤ bless your kind heart always and your beautiful eyes too hehe 🥰
*hugging back*
How is your week going so far?
we are moving into October soon ... time is whooshing smh 😳
@Optimisticempath *big hugs* ❤️ You're very welcome Opti. I was glad to do it and tbh - I'll gladly do it again if someone were to be like that to you or anyone else. I don't stand up for myself lol but I do for other people. There's no reason for people to be mean like that - especially here
My week feels as though it's longer than what it actually is but at the same time I can't believe it's Thursday *smh* time works so weird sometimes 😋
Aww you're welcome. We sound alot alike when it comes to kindness and compliments. It's like I kind of want to argue with people and list all the reasons why they're wrong
My week has been busy and alittle off at times but it hasn't been completely horrible - Thank you for asking 😊 ❤️
How has your week been?
Its hard to believe it's soon October - holy cow where did the summer go? Before long I'll be complaining about snow and being cold lol