Compassion & Empathy

As mentioned in my previous post, I really loved the Inner Goals Development Framework. Inner development, to put simply, is transformation through an exploration and further enhancement of our personal life, knowledge, abilities, and behaviors. As I often used to tell my students, “Life is about taking the things in the past, present, and future that affect us (or will affect us), sitting with those things, and learning from (or about) them and how they affect(ed)/will affect us, and then releasing them; either leaving them in the past, working with them in the present, or preparing them for the future. But you won’t grow standing still.” Whether you call it inner development, soul growth, journey of self, or purpose searching, this inner growth is about transformational changes. It is not just about setting goals or future success, but about cultivating cognitive and transformational skills, creating a more profound sense of purpose and agency, and mastering a deep understanding of one’s heart, mind, and spirit holistically. 

In a time where change occurs quickly and frequently, and challenges demand innovation and an ability to adapt, our inner development is not merely about fulfillment in life, it is necessary for communication, our relationships, and social health as well. Inner development is not a solitary journey, but a tribal pursuit where we share experiences and insights that lead to the growth of the collective. When we gain inner peace, we learn to embrace many different perspectives, foster a growth mindset, understand the strength in vulnerability, and find a compassionate and empathetic understanding of others. In my last post, I discussed openness and a growth mindset, and when we gain the ability to maintain that mindset and allow openness, we often find it much easier to treat ourselves and others with compassion and empathy. 

In the IDG’s third category, relating, it tells us that relating is how we care for others and the world. It discusses how appreciating, caring for and feeling connected to those around us helps us to create more systems and societies that include justice and are much more sustainable. This can be connection to neighbors, future generations of the course itself, or nature. The course defines the skill of empathy and compassion as “the ability to relate to others, oneself, and nature with kindness, empathy, and compassion, and address related suffering”.  I think of empathy as a deep understanding of others’ emotions or an ability to embody yourself in someone else’s shoes and share their feelings. I honestly believe this to be one of the most important abilities we can have as individuals, so it makes sense that ths section includes this skill. Compassion goes right along with empathy, in my opinion, but they really are not the same things. Compassion is a feeling of sympathy that causes you to want to take action to help someone, which comes about when you become confronted with someone elses’s emotions, particularly their distress or suffering. 

We can learn about our ability with this skill by practicing deep listening, which encourages us to engage in attentive and empathetic listening to foster genuine curiosity and compassion in our responses.  It enables one to identify and transform unproductive patterns into more constructive interactions; particularly in situations that lack immediate or clear solutions. We can learn to recognize these circumstances in order to assist in building trust by valuing and taking others’ words seriously, clarifying the underlying issues, and uncovering new possibilities. It’s important to refrain from judgment and remain receptive to information to allow ample space to put our thoughts and feelings into words, which creates a secure environment for free expression. 

In self-reflection, you can think about if you try to communicate your understanding of what others have said before stating your opinion or perspective or if you fail to acknowledge what they say and simply state your own perspective. What about the times you disagree? Do you try to reflect back your understanding of their position or fail to acknowledge any validity in the other person’s point of view?   For those who have exerienced or given empathy,                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  you might notice that people go to you  with their feelings and concerns. 

Who and what helps you move into action when you perceive the suffering of others? Are you working on your ability to feel empathy and compassion even towards people who are very different from yourself and who may act in ways you disapprove of?