Waking up feeling like this...
today, I woke up feeling paranoid. paranoid that I have done something wrong. I've been having alot of strange dreams lately and I feel like I'm yelling or revealing things that frustrates me, through my dreams. the first time I woke up I noticed my love wasn't laying next to me, which he was when I went to bed. I know I had stupid chaotic dreams again because I feel worn out and my whole body is achy and my head hurts, jus as I always do waking up from that. my love doesn't trust me and he does have resentments towards me, so I'm wondering why he left me in the middle of the night...did I say or do something again???
Where did your S/o leave to? Was his intention to give you space if you were thrashing in your sleep? Or was he upset?
He moved to the couch. I talked to him this morning, he said he was a bit irate coz I had my dog in the bed with me. IDK I jus find that any actions he does has something to do with what I did. did that make sense? I apologize if it didn't, I have a migraine right now. I get very anxious about his moods and I'm careful about what I do coz I don't want him mad at me or be moody n not talk to me.
Your post did make sense, I understood. Do you drink plenty of water? Sometime migraines are helped by the body's dehydration.
I'm very curious what sort of situation you're in that you feel you need to stay with this man who doesn't sound interested in helping you with your particular form of anxiety.
Having your dog close probably helps with your anxiety. Why does the dog on the bed bother him?
Yes, I did drink water, I try to drink plenty of water. To make long story short, Cap, I cheated on him. He says he loves me and wants us to work out. Our problem was communication, so we're working on it now. We've been good but I'm still very anxious that he's going to decide that I can't be forgiven. Last night, we were watching tv and I got tired and I asked him to go to bed with me. My dog follows me everywhere. We made a deal that we couldn't kennel the dog when I'm off so he can sleep near me, the dog has his own bed but I left it in the kennel downstairs and I was too tired to get it n do the dog ended up on the bed next to me. we have a king size bed n apparently I fell asleep fading away from him with the dog curled up next to me. My love did say that he was a little jealous of the dog. I jus have to try harder to make my love not mad at me.
Cap, he's never had a pet his whole life, so having a dog is new to him. My dog does help me ease my stress and anxiety and I think my dog knows it too that's why he's attached.
Thank you for being clear and upfront, this revelation does add depth and texture to what you're going through and I can better help you.
About the dog, I had a feeling he felt a form of jealousy toward your pup sleeping on the bed with you, but given that you've recently broken the bond of trust you two shared it's absolutely normal that he would feel a bit of anxiety himself as he's probably analyzing and digesting what you two are going through. That he's sticking around is a sign that he wants to remain with you, though he will need his space while he sorts through his feelings. In the scheme of things, the dog isn't the problem, he's probably lashing out because his psyche needs to vent his frustrations and he decided that your dog on the bed would constitute a good enough reason to be upset. Venting is normal, it's part of the healing process.
Your relationship with him as it existed before the cheating is done and what's left are two individuals who have backtracked as far as the trust that had been built up during your earlier relationship. You both have to work toward not just rebuilding the damaged trust but the relationship itself. If you're both committed, a new relationship will be built between you two completely separate from the last. Cheating ended the last relationship. You're both basically dating all over again and with enough effort and luck, he will decide to put in the effort and date you back.
Thank u Cap, what you said makes perfect sense, thank you, again. If you don't mind me asking, are you a therapist? You said everything eloquently. He and I are going to go see therapy to see if we, can bring out the hidden anger or problems frm out past relationship. I am a bit paranoid that he might be seeing someone or he's tired of my depression and anxiety. Anyways, there's so much more to what I'm feeling, but thank you...
Thank you for the kind words, and of course I don't mind you asking me anything, but no I'm not a therapist. I suppose I've lived in varying degrees the lives of others and I want to make good use of that experience and help others.
When are you seeing a therapist and what kind of therapist will it be?
Keep in mind during the early stages of this new relationship of yours, and specially at the therapist's appointment, that you're both dating all over again. If he's felt it necessary to find someone else and that other person happens to be a woman, try to remember that cheating (i.e., human connection) always originates from a psychological point of view. Other people may have been coping mechanisms, a way to manage frustrations, venting, commiserating, or fear.
thank you...I try not think of his as doing what I had done but it's hard. if he does, he does, I can't do anything about it. my anxiety will always be peaked coz I don't want his mood of shutting me out come back, even tho I kno it'll always be there.
Today....I woke up groggy, I took my sleeping meds last night but woke up early to get my dog outside to do it's business. needless to say, I slipped down the stairs and now my knee hurts. I'm hoping it's nothing seriously wrong but I'll treat it today and see how it goes...I'm sucha clutz at times. And yes, I'm doing much better than the last time I posted!!!! woo woo