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I can't sleep

IvanHerrejon0 August 7th, 2015

Hello, everyone.

I love 7 cups and think that this is a good idea. However, since I started I have trouble saying to members/guests that I have to go. And sometimes it's obvious that they want to keep talking and I do it. But in the end, I spend all night in here. Has anyone experienced this too?

5
MidniteAngel August 7th, 2015

@IvanHerrejon0

Yes I have experienced this too when I first started, but you have to make sure to care for yourself as well as others, otherwise you won't be able to work at your full potential. I hate giving half hearted support due to listener fatigue. Tell them to be strong, give them the option of other resources or listeners and allow yourself to take breaks.

1 reply
IvanHerrejon0 OP August 7th, 2015

Thank you for your kind reply:) I hope you have a nice day.

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Mel August 7th, 2015

@IvanHerrejon0

Hey Ivan!

I totally understand your need to be here as much as possible, I think we all feel it usually! Though please remember that to be able to help, you need to be good yourself too and not sleeping is definitely not good for you health. While listening we need to remind ourselves several times that sometimes self care is first. (We are all human and we need to sleep!)

As well as we usually request a listener doesn't take more than 3 chats at once (to not having to run from chat to chat: as that could lead to not remembering exactly the member/guest's situation or having a low response time; and also to not over-do yourself) there are some other self- boundaries that you yourself can manage! Some examples of what I mean are here on this awesome comment by our even more awesome Iara.

If for any circumstance you need to leave while you are having a live chat you can let your member know -kindly- so by a message similar to this:
"I'm terrible sorry but I need to leave because [insert reason here] [Example: it's really late where I am]. Maybe you would like to re-connect some other time? [Here if you feel comfortable doing so, you can schedule a time with them to chat again]. If you feel like you need immediate support you can always pick another listener of your liking from this page https://www.7cups.com/BrowseListeners/ using any of our categories to choose the perfect listener for you."

If you are not comfortable sending them to the browse listeners page you can always enter the Listeners Community Room (I think that's the name for the Listeners only chatroom in the adults side - I'm sorry I'm not all that familiarised with the oldies side!) and ask "Could someone take a chat for me?" This is called referring a member to another listener. Please though try to keep the confidentiality of your chat and with your member by only explaining the topic briefly in 5 words or less. :)

It's great though to see you having such an early commitment with the site! Also, I really hope your internship is going well! Take care!

Much love, Mel.

elusive23 August 7th, 2015

I can't sleep since I was 9 yrs old, now in a bit older, I still can't sleep, I think about my whole life playing its self out in my head every day.. the horrible things I went through, the things I've seen, that kids don't see.. if i did have a good sleep, it would be when I'm dead.. Much Love*

AlovingFriend August 20th, 2015

I've definitely experienced the same pressure to stay on the line with members, especially when I think I'm making a connection and making progress. However, I've learned that when you only have a limited amount of time to chat, it's helpful to start your chats with an outline of how long you can stay. Also, nearing the end of your chat you can remind the member how long you have left. And even when you have to leave, you can ask the member if they would like to be connected to another listener. If so, you can enter the listener chatroom and ask for help or give the member the link to the browse listeners page. So there are many ways to handle it professionally so that you can get sleep. :)