parent loss

@Heathermasonsbiggestfan

Hi Heather, I am so sorry for the loss of your dad. I feel like I have experienced some of the same feelings after realizing I will no longer have them to fuss with or have different opinions with them. It is ok to look back in hindsight. What you are feeling is normal, and yes, our inner critic is always looking for things to shame us with. What you feel now is quite ok. The relationship was what it was. Having had prehand knowledge may have helped you mask your true feelings. You loved your dad, and he knew that. And you know that he loved you. We are all different, and we love in many different ways. Stay strong.❤️

I think I had a similar experience. I always saw my father as a sort of absentee figure. Semi trying. He died last year. When he was alive I was so sure of everything. My mother is and was severely possessive and autistic. He was also similarly socially challenged. She set herself up as a condition of anyone knowing me. When he was dying he tried harder. Looking back I feel stupid. She knew exactly how to get in between us. And he was there. And now he isn't. And as much as we had fun there's nothing I can do to undo it. I wish I'd realised. I was too young. Too abused and manipulated to see that her chasing him down the driveway hitting him was her failure not his. I don't think I loved him as I should have. It sucks that it's too late