How do you have healthy attachments after losing people?
Hi,
After losing a few people whom I thought would be in my life forever, I now struggle with interpersonal relationships a lot. I have trouble making new friends. I have trouble getting close. Once in a while someone comes along and I think they will be good for me. But I tend to get too attached too fast to such people. Knowing this, I deliberately try to keep it from progressing after a certain level.
I want to cultivate healthy attachments with new people as well as the people already in my life. How do you know whom to trust? How do you know who will be good for you? How do you NOT lose yourself if at some point they leave?
@lightChestnut1695
Hi, this can be really tough and it's definitely something I struggle with as well. It can be difficult to trust people. I think part of it takes time. When we really spend quality time with a person and get to know them we begin to develop more secure trust for them. And yes, if that person were to leave our lives it would be incredibly difficult. But I think knowing that you can survive and be okay without that person is important too. Having other people that you are close with and can depend on is important. Additionally participating in activities that you enjoy can help lessen the pain if the person you trust and are close to does leave. It's definitely tough, there's no easy answer but know that you are not alone and many other people struggle with the same thing.
I know just how you feel. It’s been almost 4 years for me, I’m just now getting to the point of thinking about wanting anyone in my life. I have isolated this while time. I’m grateful for this site, already I have much more insite to how ifeel and how to get better.
