Strange Grief
So I come from an Asian family and my great grandma passed away this week and it’s been a complex situation
she was the matriarch of my whole family like we all gathered specifically for her but now that she’s gone there’s no “excuse” to see each other
i am sad she is gone but as I’ve grown up I’ve noticed the generational trauma my parents have that really affected my childhood which has made me honestly a little bit bitter and I kinda feel grief for that in itself but also I worry that my parents have sort of painted this villainous picture of some aspects or individuals in my family (tho they deny it now)
im not really sure how to think or feel anymore but I managed to cry about it which is a step but my parents have been a very confusing sweet and sour since the news through the funeral and everything… I got more hugs in a weekend than a year from them but then they’d also snap at me later
I think I’m just sad and confused or sm but thanks for allowing my mini rant and congratulations if you could understand what I’m saying 😄
@LotusLi Grief does bring out a whole lot of different emotions ^^' and I guess we can never have fixed rules for that. Sometimes the loss of one thing/person can bring out the pain of everything that we've lost or longed for till now. Also having certain expectations on yourself for feeling a certain kind of way can make the way we actually process grief feel weird. Let yourself feel what you feel right now cause it will change and you will heal and get stronger with time <3
@LotusLiitnsounds totally normal and like you and your parents are feeling the emotions of grief…which unfortunately cause a bag of mixed emotions. Just know that what you are feeling is a reflection of life, loss, and grief and we all go through it- stay strong and ride the wave and I hope you find peace and strength in your loved ones memory and her imprint on your life.