Not sure what to do

Hi guys, long post ahead. Please read and leave some comments for me!

My husband brought up divorce recently but i wasnt agreeable. We have been married for 8 years with 2 toddlers. He has since moved back to his parents' and left me to care for our 2 toddlers alone on top of my 8-5 job.

He has also been avoiding me and not replying to my messages even though i have just been contacting him about the kids stuff.

In the week before he brought up divorce, i noticed he was always on whatsapp and he locked a secret chat with his female colleague who he claimed that he has not contacted before. 

When he first brought up divorce, he said he will still be here to see the kids weekly, but he didnt keep his promise. The kids miss their dad. He would rather go out the whole weekend and not even spare some time for his kids.

We went on a holiday shortly after he brought up divorce as that holiday was booked long ago. Guess what, he went with us, and left us there in the foreign place on the same day. I pleaded with him to stay or at least help when we are coming back cos I wasnt sure how to handle 2 kids n the luggage. But no, he didnt appear.

Lately, I also find myself screaming at the kids over the smallest things. Even though i feel bad and regret it immediately, i still cant help but flare up at them again and again. I am worried and afraid that this will take a toll on their mental state as well.

Its been really hard and emotionally draining. I feel so anxious, burn out, angry, stressed and tired. Im pretty sure im dealing with depression too and I think about giving up everyday.