Tired of feeling worthless and useless

I've been in a downward spiral dealing with depression and anxiety. I was dignosed with major depression and have been admitted to the mental hospital twice for having suicidal thoughts (both consecutively ). Sometimes I feel so useless that I begin to think that I will be like this forever, that I will never get better. It's hard when you feel like a total burden because you can't work or do anything, sometimes I just feel like giving up. I just feel so tired physically and mentally. I've tired getting some help with my therapists only to be told that I have to "try" and o things for myself, what does she think I'm doing by going to therapy. Clearly she doesn't know what she's doing or she wouldn't make me feel less than I'm feeling already. I just don't know how to move on, I AM SCARED FOR MY LIFE!!!.....I WANT TO LIVE AGAIN!!!!......I WANT TO LIVE MY LFE!!!!... I JUST WANT TO LIVE...