The Kinds of Loneliness No One Is Talking About

"Some people are not suffering from loneliness in the way we typically understand it. They have the social relationships that they want. They are fine with the number of people they have in their lives and are in touch with them often enough, so they are not “socially lonely.” And they are also fine with the intimacy of their bonds with the people in their lives, so they are not “emotionally lonely,” either. And yet, new research shows, those people can still feel lonely or isolated, for reasons that have rarely been acknowledged.

3 Kinds of Loneliness That Are Not Personal

1. Abandoned by society

Participants were asked what kinds of support would be most helpful to them as they lived alone during the pandemic. Contrary to popular media narratives about all those poor single people without any social or emotional support, many said they did not need any more social or emotional support. They were not feeling abandoned by their friends or families. They were, though, experiencing “structural isolation, a sense of being abandoned by those in power and left to fend for themselves.”

2. Missing strangers and “familiar strangers”

During the times of pandemic lockdowns, places such as a favorite coffee shop were shut down, and people living alone missed the pleasant ritual of seeing some of the same people every day. Sometimes they had greeted those people, or exchanged pleasantries with them, even if they didn’t even know their names.

People who live alone in the city often enjoy being out and about, among other people, but during lockdowns, other people were less likely to be out on their front stoops, or in the parks, or scurrying to get to work. Just seeing those other people—either total strangers or “familiar strangers”—was something people living alone during the pandemic said that they missed.

3. Physical aloneness

People living alone during the pandemic typically stayed connected with other people virtually, but physically, they were alone. “Sometimes this sense of physical aloneness was distressing,” Klinenberg and Leigh found, “but in other instances, it was simply their state of being.” Some didn’t think that loneliness was unique to those living alone; they mentioned friends and relatives who were feeling lonely, even though they were living with other people."

Read the full article on Psychology Today

✨Takeaway: Those who feel abandoned by society experienced "structural isolation," the feeling of being abandoned by those in power and left to fend for themselves.

✨Reflection: Have you ever felt any of these types of loneliness?

#Emotions #Loneliness #Alone #Self #MentalHealth #Isolation

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