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Family Issues

anupama1234 August 28th, 2023

I had an issue with my mum. Her brother in law came to Sri Lanka, he is loved by all of me my siblings. I wanted to be with him for a few days and introduce my husband too. He came cause his mother passed away. Yesterday I told mum that I will be coming to the funeral and then will stay for a few nights as my uncle is there. When we got home my mum was acting bit strange as if she didnt like my husband I stay for a few days. When I ased about sleeping arrangements she gave us a room with lots of storage and dust and all. She knew this but my husband didnt. When he checked the room he said we cant stay as we both have sinuses. And for the first time in my husband's life (He is a very patience guy who never complaints) he has understood that my mum didnt like us to stay there. Honestly we wont mind staying on floor even. But she gave the worst room. And after the funeral I told my family that we wont stay and we will go back. My mum was not hesitant, she didnt even ask why or didnt ask to stay. I am so upset cause my husband's family never even hurt me by a word, but this is how my mom treat my husband. And today morning, I blamed my mum, but she was saying that eventhough she was tired she gave us a banana, and we are the ones who hurt her. FOr the whole lifetime she has been treating me differently and I have mum issues. I always look for her love and appreciation which I get rarely. This is the first time I stepped up and blamed her. She is a very self centered person, who thinks that we must treat her a queen cause our father passe away. Am I wrong?

2
toughTiger6481 August 28th, 2023

@anupama1234

No you were not wrong..... It sounds like she chose a room she knew was not going to work ... hoping you would not stay INSTEAD of being honest and telling you directly. The acting hurt is a self defense mechanism cause she KNOWS this was at fault.

The being treated differently was an issue i had also with my mom ............... i found out after her passing by my step dad that........... she often did that as she was jealous of me and i did not just do all she said like my siblings would.

sounds like you have some unresolved issues with her and due to her actions i doubt she will ever face her part in that.

neonHuman185 October 26th

No. You are not wrong. She is wrong for treating you and your husband in such an inconsiderate manner. She was the one that was rude and you have every right to stand up for yourself and your husband. It sounds like your mom has some underlying issues that she should seek therapy for to find out why she treats her own daughter that way and is so disrespectful.