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Constantly questioning whether I’m doing the right thing

MarP April 3rd, 2023
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Hi everyone. Putting this here to ask for help if anyone can relate. I’m an allied health professional that works in intensive care. I haven’t been practicing long. Coming up on 2 years. It didn’t used to be like this so much at the start of my job. But nowadays I’ve been sinking deeper into this rut where pretty much every single day I wonder whether or not I did/said the right thing for/to a patient and how it could affect their life. It’s been getting worse the longer I practice and it’s been driving my well-being into the ground. I know it’s part of the job and every day we are called to make decisions using clinical judgement often with limited information until more comes about dependent on the patients response and clinical course. I know there are many things I cannot control. And yet somehow I feel responsible and criticize and place blame/guilt on myself for anything that doesn’t go quite “right” or anything I say that is not exactly how I planned to say it. I belittle myself over any medical error (both actual and self-perceived) no matter the degree because they all are a big deal to me. I feel like this has been putting a lot of pressure on myself and is killing my confidence, sense of competence, and self-esteem in my job. I feel I am so concerned about being careful and not making a mistake that it is affecting my decisionmaking and time management. If anyone can relate, any tips for overcoming this? Appreciate your insight and time.

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MarP OP April 3rd, 2023
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Add: In summary, I struggle to move on from any actual or self-perceived medical mistake and deeply dread making mistakes. Any personal experiences and/or tips for moving on, learning, and healing from this are deeply appreciated.

toughTiger6481 April 3rd, 2023
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@MarP

That situation is unique compared to most people and are understandable why you may have thoughts like that.

i am assuming most mistakes are either minor or self perceived ...... but if you paralyze yourself be over analyzing each decision made is that not also a mistake?

I mean some items in your field would need to be made quickly and delaying action by questioning each thing may also not be for the best............

I think anyone choosing to work in situations like intensive care while admirable must also be draining as some outcomes are NOT good....

Is there anyway for you to rotate out to basic care and see if that helps put items into perspective that in the ICU ..... you see more tragedy ... more things that went downhill for seemingly no reason etc....