aromantic stuck in an unhaply relationship

this is a repost from the LGBTQ forum cause I'm just desperate asf for any sort of advice I can get

so basically, my whole kaboodle is:

-I'm aromantic and allosexual

-I am firmly againt the idea of personally being in a monogamous relationship

-I have a partner who just can't for the life of them accept this

I love them. I really do. I wouldn't put up with this *** for a second if I didn't. I believe if platonic soulmates were a thing, then they'd be it. however, it seems that 'platonic soulmates' just isn't going to suffice for them. they want me romantically. they want me to themself. and I made it perfectly clear to them several times that neither of those are okay with me. I told them I'd be perfectly okay with being friends with benefits, that I still loved them, *** I even tried to negoitate queerplatonicism.

guess what? still not *** happening.

they just. claimed me. I am their girlfriend now, whether I like it or not. they're obsessed with me. they're obsessed with the idea of mutual obsession. they're obsessed with an ideal of me I feel, an ideal I can never live up to. they're obsessed with the idea of this very mutual romantic devotion, which I can just never give.

I know this is a horrible foundation for a relationship. A- everytime I mention I want to break up, it always goes something like "well I'm sorry you feel that way and I want to be a better partner for you, I hope one day you'll feel the same and our love will grow stronger uwu" and B- they're like,, weirdly completely non-abusive beyond this? like, other than the whole 'forced romance' thing, they very much respect any other boundary. they respect consent, my feelings, they're always non-judgemental, and I feel for this I just don't want to leave.

I still really really really want them as a friend, and if this is what it takes to keep them, then it's just kind of a sacrifice I'm willing to make. because there's no way out, I'm willing to play the part. and I feel like such a horrible piece of *** for it. that I pretend to want them back just to keep them in my life. that I've built such resentment behind the surface. I wish they knew what monogamy means to me. like, I very much respect it and see the appeal. but for me, it's ownership. it's a complete loss of freedom.

they don't even have to let me go at this rate. I've played the part this long, I'll survive more. I just wish they aknowledged the sacrifices I make to keep being friends. I really don't know what I'm supposed to do at this rate. there's no breaking up with them. I can't lose them. but the more I'm with them, the more I feel it eat away at my happiness.