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What is general behaviour of normal man in relationship?

wittyMap7054 October 16th

After encountered few man. I am in state of questioning what is behaviour of good man or normal man in relationship? 

Example below 

Is he responsible like letting know their partner they will be late or busy ??

Or usually guy don't give much thought on informing their partner.

Prefer cheating rather talking opening our relationship is not working.. 

N many such situation. 

I don't want i keep wrong expectation n keep feeling hurt n worthless. Or like i am meeting wrong guy. 


6
toughTiger6481 October 16th

@wittyMap7054

What you have described sounds like the wrong type of Man. In a real relationship they should try to always communicate like if they will be late or unable to keep plans. This is not only letting you know but really feeling remorseful in cancelled plans etc.  If they chose to cheat over and over it is about them not being either ready for commitment or respectful to their partner. 

When anyone puts up with bad behavior it tells that person it is OK to act that way.   dump anyone whom does not show you respect. 

3 replies
wittyMap7054 OP October 16th

@toughTiger6481

Thank you tiger for response. I too thought same but mostly I had seen such guys only. 

Even if I express my hurt or expectation in good way still they don't consider it. Keep doing same thing. 

I feel to end it n i end also. But then I miss them because definitely it was feeling some little purpose of making me feel good maybe 20 perc. It like something better than other. 

I keep thinking maybe I am wrong. My expectation r high or men r like this only. 

1 reply
toughTiger6481 October 17th

@wittyMap7054

No,  i do not think you should buy you are having too high standards.   

Many men  would like you to believe that it is you instead of the men.    Men often say women who won't put up with their BS are too picky ect.  We can state our expectations and yet they do the same if we stay it says you are OK with bad treatment.  

No one is perfect and some will let you down occasionally but even if when you are together it feels good... it is not worth being treated poorly.    

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jacek73 October 16th

@toughTiger6481 I believe you're right - not telling your partner you are going to be late can be both disrespectful and a sign of terrible time management skills of this person.

Cheating in a relationship is definitely a red flag for me - especially when it happens already at the very beginning.

How would you feel about thinking out your relationship priorities? How could it to work if your were not expecting from a partner to be perfect, but not think seriously about candidates which are "a way too much below your standards"?

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jacek73 October 16th

@wittyMap7054 Please, excuse me. You can find my reply in this thread, but somehow I wrongly linked it to another person. I'm sorry.

FirmWind October 16th

@wittyMap7054

The question of what you want in a relationship is important. All relationships are mutual, consensual, and require communication to form an agreement. That agreement determines what is normal. Without explaining to your friend or partner what you'd like, you can't expect them to do anything. In my experience we don't grow up equipped with all the social tools for life. Some of these have to be learned or earned. Positive, healthy relationships are often grown.

"Is he responsible like letting know their partner they will be late or busy ??"


- Only when you have both agreed that this is expected.


"Prefer cheating rather talking opening our relationship is not working.."


- Not every relationship will work out, and it is frustrating when partners won't explain that its not working out. In my experience not all partners are willing to have difficult conversations for one reason or another; whether it be a taboo on talking about sexuality or avoiding emotionally charged subjects, etc. I've found it sometimes possible to encourage difficult conversations and get past those roadblocks, given time and effort. 


"I don't want i keep wrong expectation n keep feeling hurt n worthless. Or like i am meeting wrong guy."


- It sounds like you are on the right track. What you're saying makes complete sense, it sounds like you know what you want and need; but it can exceed what the people you're meeting are willing to provide by default. I've been there too many times to count, and some honest heart-to-hearts sometimes helps. In my mind some people are just hard shells that require cracking, and others have nothing for you inside once you get there. I feel its nice to find out, get closure, accept it, and move on when there is a mismatch.

You sound like a thoughtful person with a big heart. I can really appreciate it, and wish you the best <3