@marine88
I understand your situation very well. It's hard for me to open up, but I won't lie that it's really difficult to keep going once there's suddenly too many responsibilities on your shoulder. I don't know how I was able to get back up a little, but in the meantime, I developed some techniques to distract my head from bad thoughts.
Firstly, I tried to find new hobbies like sports or writing to train myself physically and mentally. I'm still struggling to do it most of the time but at least there's progress. Secondly, I joined clubs and volunteered when I had the time to improve on my confidence and communication skills. This was more of a challenge because at first, I was only doing it to have good grades but over time I started enjoying doing them. Thirdly, I searched up useful school tips and would ask my classmates and teachers for help. And lastly (and I think the most important one) is resting. For this, I did have to do many last minute work but so far, getting enough sleep has helped my mind to work faster.
All of this worked really well for me, and even though it might not for you, especially because we have different experiences in life, it can give you some ideas on how to get back on track. I empathize with you. I don't like to feel like I'm behind everyone else and a complete failure. I sincerely wish all of these troubles would just end one day and leave us be. There are better, more expert talented people out there who can help you get through this, and I'm not one of them, but please don't end it now. It's almost Christmas break. Before you knew it, a new year is there to welcome you; it's not the end of the world. I hope this can help.