School days story

Today I want to share a story from my school days 20 years back. I want to put it out here becuase even though so much time has elapsed since, the impact on my mind and heart isn't gone.

Basically I was a school prefect. And I had this disorder that prevented me from going to school for many days. As a result of my absence I was terminated from my school role. Now you must be thinking I should have told the school about my problem and gained some form of exemption but the thing is I didn't want my problem to be discussed. I really was very conscious of it. I didn't want to be known for it. I wanted to keep it secret.

Now all these years later I still feel the loss of that position. Becuase deep down I know I was hard working and did most of my job right. Only a little bit was impacted because of my absence. And that too if I had been brave to accept my problem I could have discussed with the principal. Today I have that kind of courage but back then I didn't. Also keep in mind the principal was very ill mannered so that created in me a fear. I felt that I couldn't talk to her.

Now please tell me dear friends how do I move past this? A part of me feels that I should let go as it was my destiny. But the incident has really put its fangs on me - I kind of worry that I'll fail again because I'm perhaps not smart or lucky enough to succeed. Another part feels I should go and talk to the principal. Ofcourse time won't come back and I wont get my position again but at least she will know I wasn't in the wrong, I just was conscious of my condition. But then again she might still misbehave as she did then. And it might be a futile effort on my end. I can't say.

What do you all say? Any ideas or words of encouragement would help.