Loneliness, Anger

I've been in and out of institutions for four years, now. Every time I ask for help, I feel like someone is just kicking the can further down the road. I've had over two dozen counselors since 2018, a psychiatrist, a psycheval, the whole works. I've been alone for decades. I lost my Mom to cancer in 2020. I lost my partner a year ago. I'm tired of always being alone. I'm tired of everything always being my fault. I'm tired of walking through the dark all by myself.