I forgive you.

I know you are a product of your unstable home life.

I forgive you for being in love with your best friend. You two are made for each other and I wish I had known this before I started dating you. I wish you had known it before you started dating me. Nevertheless, I forgive you. I understand that your disorder actively prevents you from choosing security. It was the same for me, for a while. I am choosing to break the cycle.

A, I forgive all the cheating. I hope you’re getting help the same way I am. I forgive you for taking a restraining order out against me for trying to get you that help. Denial is a mofo. I was in denial of my codependency for years.

I forgive you for dragging me through your old house, having me do all the cleaning. Your backyard was filled with trash. You had hoarded it. Again, I was used but your disorder makes you use people. I hope you are getting help for that too.

I forgive you for wrecking my car. I forgive you for everything, I hope you’re doing well. I hope one day you recognize yourself and that you do good in this world. I hope you stop hating yourself.

i hope with all of my heart for you that you conquer Narcissistic Personality Disorder. You don’t deserve to feel bad or down on yourself. A, behind these issues there is an incredible person. I miss you, I’ll admit. Every single day. Because of how I am emotionally, I will probably miss you for the rest of my life. That doesn’t mean I won’t move on. I hope you can move on too and find the Prince Charming that always makes you smile. I hope he’s good with the kids and they grow to appreciate him.

Lastly, I’m so sorry I didn’t stick around. Your problems were too much for me. I’m sorry I couldn’t be that rock for you. Sometimes I blame myself for everything, but I know you can’t do that with a trauma bond. It was meant to fail.

i would do it all over again. I’m sorry, and I forgive you too.