I feel worthless after trying to help.
I was called stupid and an idiot for not knowing a concept when helping someone study. They called me re****ed for not understanding. They shouted and screamed and I feel terrible thoughts. Right now I feel so worthless. I wish I had understood right away. People have only ever valued me for my intelligence. And when that fails I am nothing.
@wickedsnowman93 I'm really sorry that someone was mean to you when you were trying to help them study. Nobody should be treated like that. Remember, your worth isn't just about being smart; you have other good qualities. Everyone struggles with things sometimes, and it's okay to ask questions. Don't let their hurtful words make you feel worthless. You're a valuable person, and your intelligence isn't the only thing that matters.🥰
Why do people shout and get mad when you're just trying to help? I really don't get it. People get so entitled. They act like I, the "smart kid", am always supposed to know. Then I get told I slowed them down and wasted their time because I was stupid and didn't understand a concept that was integral in their homework problem. I don't have the same major as the person I was helping so I was really going off of my logic skills to assist. It made me feel worthless and now they say I am an *** because I got mad back and defended myself. I concede I even sparky back a bit too.
@wickedsnowman93 People get mad at you for reasons that are going on inside them. Although it was the interaction with you that triggered it, it wasn't necessarily something you did wrong. Remember too that other people often do not react based on your intentions, they react based on their emotional state at the time.
Hello SociusVj,
Thank you for the thorough and thought out response.
I logically know my value is beyond my intelligence, and that my value is based mainly upon my existence in-itself. In the moment, however, it is very tough to remember this, especially when emotions run high.
I am still very hurt with the whole situation. This hurt is exacerbated by the fact that the other party continues to lay blame on me for everything, as though my inability to understand a concept slowed them down. Keep in mind, I was purely aiding them based upon their lecture notes. I am not taking the class nor do I have intimate familiarity with the subject. This makes the pain even worse, and adds to my palpable confusion.
This is not the first time something like this has happened. Many a time has this party been upset if I was not helpful. Now that I am not running high on emotions as I was in my initial post, I can say that it feels a bit entitled, especially because I have been chastized for not helping or not wanting to help. I struggle with setting boundaries and putting my interests first, however. Perhaps this is something I need to figure out
@wickedsnowman93 Hi, I'm Celine :) It's completely natural to feel the way you're feeling. Everyone goes through difficult times and faces challenges. It's essential to be kind and patient with yourself. Remember that your worth is not solely determined by your intelligence or how others perceive you. It might be helpful to talk about your feelings with someone you trust. You are more than your intelligence, and your value goes far beyond any single concept or moment.
