I feel terrible.. Everyday.

@Chrissy911666

so sorry you are dealing with so much. I encourage you to see a counselor

@Chrissy911666

welcome and don't give up!! :)

@Chrissy911666

First and foremost, always have confidence in yourself and no one can ever control your life or make any decisions for you. You are a meaningful and complete person, and actively getting help from 7 Cups community is the right thing that you do. Well done!

Although I do not have trained experiences to help you go through these traumas that you are diagnozed with, I'm more than happy to help you out in any way, even just simply listen to you and give you some advice whenever you need me. Chatting only really helps, and personally I'd like to have some unknown friends who are willing to listen to my story and complex feelings that I might not be able to share with my friends or family, and this might be the same for you when you come to the 7 Cups.

Therefore, please feel free to come to chat with me, or any other genuine listener on 7 Cups community. Also, please still trust that there are people in the world who still cares about you as a person, and everything that you have gone through.

Take care of yourself, and let's together face your challenges actively and positively! I do believe that you can do it, even though the process might be hard, but it still worth trying!

Best wishes,

Lucy

@Chrissy911666

first of all sorry you are going through that and im glad you came here for support

i also saw you dont have acess to one on one therapy but what about friends? is there any close friends you may feel comfortable talking to ?

@Chrissy911666 hello chrissy. Sorry to notice ur suffering.

But I like to encourage you, as I had a similar path, also diagnosed lately with ADHD, at age of 39.

I can share with u if y like my own experiences, now at age of 58.

I wish y have at least the strength for little hope. In my darkest moments I had two mantras which helped me to give through:

If you think, nothing goes anymore forward, from anywhere in the dark comes a little light.

Let sit your dreams on ur drivers seat.

---

I am not a believer in god, but with these 2 mantras I believed that out there are the right answers, the solutions and good people. And indeed, so it was.

Goid luck from Netherlands

ADHD is a full time job alone. Typically this means always burning rubber but never getting anywhere. You see your peers move though the stages of life but you are always busy dreaming up new ideas but never have the commitment to see them through. These people are prone to having large voids that they are filling with anything they can get their hands on (drugs/ women / self harm etc). You are def. It alone

the good new is that there are people just like you who have gone on to live good, happy, fulfilled lives. You need to find some tools to put on your toolbox to try and keep the bowling ball between the bumpers instead of crashing from gutter to gutter and world record speed.

there are steps to take to unlearn all the ways that got you here. The first step is just being kind to yourself. Allow yourself to be human and have a spectrum of emotions that are triggered when your needs go unmet.

the next step is to get one step ahead of yourself. This is really a good time to journal about how you are feeling, triggers. And basically chart your life cycles between ok and rock bottom. once you do this, maybe you can identify patterns that you can use coping mechanisms to alleviate a little bit. Instead of having a full blown episode you can just have a healing moment of self parenting.

being sui cidal has crossed many many minds before and the point of flirting with not being alive is common. I don’t want to say normal but I’m sure a LOT of people have entertained thoughts of hopelessness and despair at one low point or another. For a 9 year old I can see where many things could be the absolute end of the world I’d you are having family trauma. Especially when parents are consumed with their own humanity and not wearing their mom or dad suit all the time it can be very damaging to a child and even at the point where the children take responsibility for this dysfunction. All very normal things so please don’t feel alone.

From what you’ve explained it sounds like your outlook is the product of years of accumulated emotional baggage that probably didn’t even belong to you in the first place, you just happened to be victim to it. youre obviously insightful enough to connect the dots and seek help online so I’m guessing you aren’t as far gone as it may seem.

at some point you will have to decide to get off of the bus carrying all of this trauma, baggage and anxiety and go in a different direction. Find a purpose or talent in your life and try to help some poor kid in the boat you used to be on. The world needs more people like you than anything.

try to keep a record of your diet, exercise, feelings and chart your anxiety/adhd/ accomplishments.

for people suffering with adhd the best thing to do is a routine. That way nothing gets missed or forgotten. Keep it simple to begin with to ensure success.

forgive yourself. I think it’s clear you were born already 2 miles behind the starting line everyone else was born at. You have had to overcome major hurdles just to be where you are now and that is no easy feat. So you’ve had a couple of times where you were at a breaking point and had no support system. It’s not ok, but you are a good person who had a series of horrible days and didn’t have any way to communicate how much this was affecting you. The main point is if you survived all that, you can do this too.