How hard do you push yourself?
I only stopped to realize this when someone told me: I push myself too hard. Why? Because I grew up hearing I should always be the best one, in everything I did.
Good was never enough. Perfect was the goal.
That lead me to a vicious cycle of trying too hard but giving up because it was, like I pushed myself, too hard. I’m not proud of that.
I’ve accomplished many things in life and, yet, I’m not successful. Not yet.
I’m 23 years old. I carry the baggage of a 16-year-old girl who got into Law school too early to be able to finish it. I didn’t have the maturity for that. So, when I was 19, I bailed. And I spent 3 years in my bed, until now.
I’m in college again. Another course. I am loving it. So far I’ve gotten A’s. But I’m trying not to push myself beyond my limits. Because I AM limited, and I am breakable.
I am dealing with unrequited love while having to study for Latin exam. Both are pretty harsh on anyone else.
I’m doing the best I can and I’m studying really hard. But I’m trying – and learning – to respect myself. Be gentle to myself. Be kind. Give myself a treat, a little trip… visit my friends.
I am tired after 3 years lying down looking at the ceiling. But I am glad I am not giving up.
I stood my ground and I’m not giving up because only I know how good it’s been for me. Hard. But good. So, so, so hard. But it has nurtured my soul in ways I can’t describe.
@CallMeRachel4
I believe there is no single constant value to describe individual’s worth or potential as a whole (as long as one is still alive). For me, it is like a wave or graph that keeps swing upward and downward. The best we can do is to balance our power from being broken, fell too low, or sacrifice our humanity and positive power in the long term. Like, do our best you can without breaking yourself too hard, take the break as your body and/or mind tells you, get up when ready, and come up with goal and maybe strategy. Anyway, flexibility of plan, companions, and backup energy are the great add-on.