Hopeless?
Hello, I am facing adversity due to autism, several toxic relationships, betrayal by my friends, a narcissistic and alcoholic mother, limited job prospects, cancer scares, ptsd, panic disorder, codependency, and several other factors.
I feel as though society has given up on me and I’m ready to completely isolate myself. No dating, no friends. I feel this is toxic but I also feel it’s the only way to avoid more emotional pain, something I have had truly enough of in my life.
I have developed aversions I have not had before. My recent ex was a narcissist (as in actually has NPD) and that really screwed with me. Now I am averse to seeing people happy, and looking a woman in the eye gives me a panic attack.
If nothing else, thank you for reading this far. Most people find all of this too much to unpack and simply don’t answer.
I think what’s happening with me is a combination of bad luck and bad choices that embittered me. I used to want a wife and family, now that seems like a joke to me. Or is it just stimulus response, and I’m tired of touching the stove and getting burned every time. So to speak.