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A depressive slump, or just an anniversary?

orangeTree959 December 13th, 2022

I was feeling unusually down the past five weeks and couldn't account for it. Slept poorly, stopped exercising, etc. And blamed myself for feeling badly because I'd fallen off my wellness routine, which is usually very effective at keeping me stable.

Even discussing it was frustrating, because my support people asked if anything had happened to cause it, and I couldn't find an explanation that felt right.

This morning, I was journaling and it hit me all at once. I went tearing through my old diaries, and yup, there it was. It's been four years since my inpatient hospitalization and starting meds.

It's so strange to me that anniversaries like these have an effect on me when I'm not even aware of the date or its significance. I had a similar unexplained experience of low mood once and checked the diaries...it was the exact day and month an important romantic relationship had broken up, years before.

Today, I'm feeling back at baseline. Simply having an explanation that lands properly in my heart and gut cheered me up immediately. Before I knew what was going on, I felt confused, self critical, and was getting anxious that this low period might mean a depressive episode. But I don't feel that way anymore.

Has anyone else had weird experiences like this with anniversaries you weren't even consciously aware of? Curious to hear the experience of others.

1
bubbleTown7508 December 13th, 2022

I know what it's like to feel under the weather I can tell you we can get through this together if you can imagine going bungee jumping it's the same thing as I type the danger is not there but just remember to breathe that is most important. You are an important person in the universe as it chose you and I as depressed persons we were added onto the list but we are stronger.