i know this is weird but i'm in need of a caregiver.

it was hard to decide which forum to post this on.

three months ago, my daily listener/caregiver of a year disappeared forever.

ever since, i have been, honestly, an emotional wreck.

i know it isn't entirely what this site is for, but i am looking for someone to sorta be there for me all the time.

i simply do not have it in me to go through random listeners until i find someone, because, though i have found a number of listeners that are very good and support me in the long-term, all of them take month or year long breaks which is very disruptive.

anyway, uhm, the rules are:

1) must be doubly restrictive on sharing any personal information.

2) literally i do not want to know anything about you.

3) not even if i beg.

4) must be female. i do not trust males.

5) either no picture or halfwise-adorable. see points 1, 2, 3 repeatedly.

you should know that i am a horrible, messy handful like if you put your entire fist in a goat and oh god what is that squishing like that is me, you have just met me, it's horrible.

i also age regress, so i need to be tucked in regularly.

with my bunny.

i have panic attacks pretty much constantly so i need my ears pet.

i cry a lot.

i'm very aggressive.

you probably should've noticed by now that i'm a heavily medicated schizophrenic

and this is probably kinda short term like i am looking for 3-4 months maybe of someone holding my hand

because i can't breathe when someone isn't holding my hand

and i don't go outside

and when i meet people, i run away like a terrified animal

because what if they got to know me

how horrible would that be