Seeking Long Term Support (Depression, Anxiety, Trauma)

Hello.

I am a soon-to-be 20 year-old female. I am looking for a long term listener who can support and help me work through some of my difficulties related to my symptoms of depression and anxiety that, I believe, manifested because of my childhood experiences which involved physical, emotional, and sexual abuse. It might be an important mention that I struggle with self-harm and suicidal ideation, but I don't have to talk about them and I am capable of coping through the resources I already have.

As a warning, recently, I have been feeling very, very confused and lost, and it makes communication quite difficult for me. It may make me frustrating to work with at times. But this confusion is one of my reasons for wanting some structured help in my recovery. I also wish to expand my support network, and I desire to make changes to my mindset or habits and lifestyle. Most of all, I need help and encouragement to find and seek out proper professional help in real life.

Thank you for taking the time to read my post.