Really scared to ask
I don't know what I need to say, all my feelings are kind of raw emotions at this point I don't know how to put into words. I'm a 26 year old disabled Canadian male recluse, I got sick and crippled as a teenager and it ruined my life and I'm really losing the will to keep fighting, because it all feels pointless to me at this point. I seriously need help, but I'm too stupid to put my emotions into words and I don't know how to reach out. I don't know what to do except post this and I feel really guilty and horrible about it, both for asking and because if somebody does listen to me, I don't know what to say. The listeners I've tried, I've just been too tongue-tied to actually say anything. My brain is a mess. I'm a complete idiot. I don't know what I need exactly but I'm losing my mind and all I can do is reach out. But I'm crippled and can't work so I can't afford proper therapy, I'm useless. This is kinda the only option I have right now.
I'm really sorry for the message and burden, I'm really anxious, scared and embarrassed to post this. But I don't know what to do. I'm only going to get worse. Again I'm sorry. I guess my issues would include depression, disability, anxiety, self-destructive urges, lack of motivation, loneliness, reclusiveness, self-loathing, as this message probably indicates, inability to forgive myself, insomnia, chronic pain, stuff like that. Thank you in advance and I'm sorry for the rambling message.
@tluper6491 You are far from stupid my friend. In fact your post shows great courage! I totally understand what you mean, as I have been feeling pretty much the same way for a while. It seems that you are overwhlemed by what you are going through. And that can cause a great deal of fear and confusion. But I can see that you still have fight in you -- you reached out for help! And that my friend is HUGE!!! Please, don't give up. Whatever it is that brought you here, will someday strenghten you. You did the right and courageous thing by reaching out and asking for help. I'm certain that you will find many wonderful and helpful new friends here to support and encourage you. Stay strong! God bless you my friend!
