How does one become less of a child?

I'm only 19 and I have no ties to this life. And that scares me. I feel that I could just end it all in the next few minutes and not give any thought to how it might effect the people around me. However right now I'm running on very limited sleep so my filter is unfortunately turned off. That being said I am not, repeat NOT suicidal; not like I used to be anyway. Next year...supposedly I'm inheriting a house. And while that seems like a really great thing with unlimited opportunities its in a garbage town with biggited satists. When I get this stupid house I don't know how I would be able to jeep everything afloat because right now I'm over 1,000 dollars in debt, no job, sh*t credit I'm sure and to top it all off I don't even want the stupid place(i have no choice but to have the d*mned thing because the whole situation is comolicated and in all honesty k really dont want to live with my parents anymore....i dont want to live is this disgusting town but whatever). While being away from my parents would be nice I don't think this is a good idea because I'm not really blooming into adulthood. I don't know exactly what I'm asking for....advice? A metaphorical shoulder to cry on? Some one to listen and take pity on me? To feel valid that this is actually tearing me apart from the inside out I don't know....I really dont.....of you would like to say something about this then feel free to I guess.