I wish I could tell everybody that...
I'm not a bad person, I'm just a human being with flaws, but if you decide to know me you'll find a great friend, an awesome life partner, with all my mistakes I'm an awesome person :)
i wish i could tell everyone that i'm so numb that i don't care what happens anymore. i'll make reckless decisions even when i think of the consequence. honestly my life means nothing to me. it shows that there's no point to anything at all. i've tried to tell people this. but no one understands and i hate when people say they do understand because they never do
@turquoisePine1459
For a while I felt so much apathy that I needed meds to not feel like I wanted to just drive off the road into a tree or a wall or something. It is extremely hard if not impossible to see any meaning in life if active serotonin drops dangerously low. I don't claim to understand everything but I know it's possible to find meaning or create it in life after a certain amount of recovery from not wanting to be alive anymore. The meds may not even be needed with enough other self-care but it was nesessary for me to regain enough energy and serotonin to be able to do that self-care process and to see that it wasn't impossible as the apathy was making it seem.
@CoinFountain
That's actually exactly how it is/how it's been for too long. if medication worked for you, i might try some possibly sooner or later. thanks for that by the way
@turquoisePine1459
You're welcome. :)
I cut.
I wish I could tell everyvody that I'm not as good or as it together as they think I am. My classmates think that just because I get good grades that my life is perfect, but it's obviously not because no one's is. I am not perfect or a role model, no sane person would actually want to be like me, I have flaws too... I just wish I could tell people this and make them understand that I have some pretty big a** struggled too
i feel so sad and i broke my knuckles for punching too hard on the walls.
I wish I could tell my family that I have mental problems they don't understand.
I think that abandoned or run down places are the most amazing like they're unique and have character and are so beautiful because of what they've gone through so if we all stayed looking at humans this way, the world would be a lot better.
i wish i could tell people that they would be okay and have it be true. and have them believe me.
That i have flaws i am unique my mind set may be different but all i want is just like everyone else to be loved and told everything will be ok!
My past doesnt make me who i am i may have trouble with it mentally but i am not a victim i am claire a women with problems but a women no less. Nothing takes that a way from me.
Deep down I don't think I'll ever belong anywhere, or with anyone.
And while I'm still working to accept that, and I'm definitely grieving the fact that I'll always be the last choice even for the people I love, I'm not looking for someone to lie to me and say that someday my whole life-pattern will change and somebody will see my worth in spite of my queerness and my PTSD.
I don't want the fantasy of an impossible happy ending. I just want someone to sit with me and agree that reality sucks.
