I feel like I’m going insane. Please help.

Am I in the wrong for using my ex friends name to hangout with my boyfriend?

My father is extremely abusive emotionally and very neglectful to me and my boyfriend is the only one who comforts me, and since my dad doesnt let me see him I lied and said I was hanging out my my friend X.

Even though I really wasn’t. Like two weeks go by and I ask for her moms name and she says why and I felt guilty and I confess, she calls me a liar and that she wants me to keep her name out of my lying mouth.

I never used her last name or anything like that. But she still got *** and said we wouldn’t be friends. Since she already was kinda distant I just decided not to be her friend anymore and I continued to use her name.

My “close” friends were here close friends and stuff kinda fell apart. Y friend number 2 got angry at me for never understanding social cues (them snapping at me and me not picking up the hint) 

And then Z, friend three who said I had lied and changed stories about things that have happened to me, like when I said expelled then i said suspended (words like that I get confused)

so they confronted me today over text and told me off and when I told them sorry but that X is a common name and she doesn’t own it they got even more ***.

Saying that there’s a reason no one wants to be friends with me and that I’m a liar. I broke down crying right after because they also bashed my boyfriend saying he was “grooming” me even though he’s two years old (I’m 17) and said I was weird for having a “daddy” kink Pinterest board even though I never shared that information in any conversation and the fact it was on my Pinterest account.

I just don’t know what to do; I feel guilty but also they just treated me horribly and would just ignore me and never communicate until it was too late.