I always feel left out
Hey, first please forgive any mistakes, English is not my first language.
Well I just wanted to vent here and maybe you guys could give me some advice or something.
I’ve already moved six times in my life (I’m 16 btw, so yes this is a bit much of times) and I’ve already changed schools six times too. I hate this and there’s nothing I can do about it, I know is necessary. But sometimes that always bothered me is my social life.
I have really good social skills, and as a child I decided that I would know everything about every subject (series, movies, anime’s, books, rpg, and etc) so I could have more friends and less stress trying to make friends. It worked, I know how to talk really well and Im definitely not shy, so is really easy to start to know someone, and keep a good conversation with them, don’t matter their age, kid, adults, teens, even older people talk to me sometimes.
The real problem is that I have those “friends” but I can’t really be friends with them. I don’t know how to explain, but even though we talk a lot, and I see them everyday, it feels I will never be in their group. I’m the “new friend” “the cool girl” “the nice one” but I’m never the one they look to vent, or get some advice, or call. I’m never the kind of friend you invite for a sleepover and everyone just keep talking about the old times as kids and im always the one who sits quietly and wait till the subject ends. All the parents know each other, and trust each other, but I’m always the “new friend”. They have separate groups and I have none cause I only go to school, and is somehow so annoying. I know that should not bother me but im getting so tired of this. I can’t trust anyone and its so suffocating. And the worst part is that I don’t really let people know me too, is like I’m so used to this thing of “changing city/school-talk to someone-be friends-changing city/schools again” that I just don’t let ppl in. I always feel left out, left behind. Idk how to explain.
@Amymimy2711
Let me start off by saying how sorry I am that you feel like you are always excluded from your friends. Meaningful connections and bonds are so important in our lives yet they can be so difficult to find. Please be kind to yourself, do not let other people's actions dictate who you know you are. Even when we feel like we have the best social skills and know that we are good people friendhsips do not always come our way. That in itself is very difficult to go through. Although I cannot offer you any advice it does seem like this is taking a toll on you and your emotions. I am so sorry about this.
@Amymimy2711 I may be wrong but maybe consider this. You have social skills which you said you developed by knowing lots of things so you would have lots to talk about. You also said that you want people to be closer, to confide in you, to vent to you. This makes me guess that you have only 1/2 good social skills. Maybe you would benefit from learning more about developing empathy around others thoughts and feelings. Maybe you could find some books on conversational skills that deepen relationships. It may be possible to build deeper relationships even though you move a lot. I hope you find answers that work for you.
@Amymimy2711
I’m sorry this is bothering you. While I do think moving can be good after settling somewhere for idk 6 to 7 or 10 years or something, that way you can gain some experience and learn new skills like other languages depending of course on where you move to, moving as many times as you did and only being 16 can be a bit too much too.
My advice to you is to realize that since you’re 16, you’re not too far away from moving to where YOU wanna live and living how YOU want to live YOUR own life.
Is this your last year before you start college or have you already graduated high school and begun college???
Where exactly in school are you currently at right now??
Depending on that, not that it really matters much bc regardless it can’t be too far away from when you’re able to live in your own place wherever that is.
Next year is my last year in my school sistem, I’ll graduate in 2026. I know is really close to the day ill finally live my own life, and I hope I can do it, I just feel really sad cause I’m always “late” to ppls life. (And no, I didn’t learn another languages cause I only moved inside my country, but I learnd a lot of different things tho) And also I agree that it can be really good to learn skills so maybe it can worth someday, thanks <3 !