Terrified of School

I'm starting my last year of high school soon and I'm terrified.

I don't have a lot of friends and there's someone I really dislike.

This person was my friend in freshmen year for a couple months. We were really good friends and I introduced them to one of my middle school friends.

Things were great until one day she brought my middle school friend into a situation that I told her not to. I was upset and wanted alone time and expressed my emotions to her (maybe not in the nicest way but I was trying to until she pushed it). She turned the situation on me and I took the blame only for her to block me and end the friendship. A couple months later I even apologized but she still kept her distance.

The next year I went to a new school where some other unfortunate events occurred which I'm not going to get into in this post but basically it was terrible and I went back to my old school the next year.

We started talking again and she apologized for how things worked out and asked if we could start over. I agreed. We were friendly this past school year and she asked to hangout once but I couldn't and every time after that I felt like the one to initiate.

One the last day of school I expressed myself again about how I felt like everything was one-sided and I didn't wanna waste my time if she wasn't gonna put in the same effort. I also talked about how the reason I barely approached her is because she was popular and had so many more friends than me therefore I was uncomfortable. She did NOT appreciate that.

Once again, she turned the whole thing on me and claimed that I felt it would be a waste of time because I wasn't 100% into working it out and claimed that I was just trying to distance her from other friends. She then told me that it was time to part ways and unfollowed me without allowed me to explain that her version was completely off the rails. I was sick of it and blocked her.

I texted my middle school friend that we got into another fight and I could explain what happened, she never replied. I was done with her as well and unfollowed her and to this day she still hasn't reached out.

I feel like she stole my friend but I wasn't gonna tell my middle school friend to pick between us. I can't blame her for "stealing my friend" because she didn't, you can't steal a person. It still burns though, this situation hurts.

I don't want to see her, and I feel like I'll scream if I do. But since I have barely any friends, I have hardly anyone to talk to and I don't think anyone at school understands because apparently she's likable and nobody would believe that she would do something like this.