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Struggling to Forgive and Freshly Start

Megalomentaurus October 19th, 2023

I'm a teenager who doesn't get many friends. When it felt like I had online friends back in a game I used to play, I messed it up. I was overdramatic, irrational, and irresponsible. I had these online friends for about a year or more, however, now it's over. All gone. All there's left is bittersweet memories, and tons of guilt, fog, and scribbles. I'm a teenager who's also trying to self-discover themselves, but I feel hurdles. I am my own worst enemy. Other dramas happened, besides just me, and us friends keep reconnecting and disconnecting over and over. School, homework, life, it was too much. I fully left and unfriended them, logged out of my account, and vowed to never return to that game. It was my fault for the last drama, the last straw for me. I couldn't handle it anymore. With not many friendship experiences, and no friends in real life, I blame and point tons of nasty fingers at me. I plan to try and find friends when I go to high school, but I also question if I ever will. I question if I struggle with a mental disorder, but it feels that I do not act normally to a situation like everyone else. I ask for help and guidance as I want to better, but I constantly stumble and fall. It feels like I'll never get better, and find a better mindset. I ask for some friends who also struggle here or are willing to listen, if that's okay. I ask for new faces, but not sympathy and pity. I need to work upon myself, but I'd appreciate if someone or some people could help me as I slowly grow up, and hopefully mature one day. Emotionally and mentally.
2
Clarezg October 20th, 2023

@Megalomentaurus Hello! I understand navigating friendships can be a struggle. Wanting to improve and chance is already the first step and a big step forward to actually changing so proud of you for that! We have great communities and listeners that can be here for you through this journey you don't have to walk through this alone. 

BodhisattvaIshan November 19th, 2023
As a friendly listener, my goal is to provide a supportive and understanding space for you to express yourself. I won't offer pity or sympathy, but rather a genuine willingness to listen and help you navigate your thoughts and emotions. It's important to recognize that self-discovery and personal growth are ongoing processes, and it's okay to stumble along the way.

I understand that you're seeking new connections and friendships, and high school can indeed be a fresh start. It's an opportunity to meet new people and explore different aspects of yourself. While I can't replace in-person interactions, I'm here to be a virtual friend who is willing to listen and provide support as you navigate through these experiences.