Is my perspective unrealistic?
Hello,
Call me Sachi. My husband feels I have an unrealistic desire of having a best friend. Let me describe to you this ideal friend: 1) we chat regularly, 2) we hang out at least once a week, and 3) okay with friend cuddles. I have friends. Sure, but none of them talk to me regularly.
Exhibit A) The ones that did either fell in love with me or left me or I left them. The friend who fell in love with me was of the opposite gender. They knew I was married, but I felt comfortable with them and I spoke with them regularly. They were also my co-worker at the time. Because he admitted to have feelings for me, it hurt our friendship. He asked for space. Eventually, we talked again, but it wasn't the same.
Exhibit B) The friend that left me, seemed to be a pushover/people pleaser. She never really spoke her mind. One day, she blew up at me because I teased her for standing me up (I invited her to do karaoke and she cancelled last minute). She started insulting me saying I am immature and selfish. I don't tolerate being insulted, so I told her if she continued, our friendship was over. She continued, so we blocked each other.
Exhibit C) This other friend was a no-brainer. I got molested at her house and she didn't believe me. In fact, she said I was being dramatic. I cut her out of my life real-quick. I'm really good at that too. Cutting out toxic people. Its so sad though. I wish I had someone who just clicked and we can talk everyday and not get tired of each other. Exhibit B was the closest thing I had to an ideal friend. We spoke everyday. Hung out at least once a week. Why is that hard to find? I sometimes feel its my area. The people in my area are very self-centered. Also, I feel my age is another factor. People at my age (31) already have their friendships and don't need more.
Has anyone made a friend around my age who became their bestie? I wish I had a bestie. I have whatever friends who talk to me once in a blue moon. I made a few new friends, but they either live far or not chatty enough to be my bestie. I would accept a long-distance bestie if they played video games with me regularly or face-timed. Am I being too unrealistic?
@Alone237
I do not think you are being unrealistic but with ANY friendship/ relationship there will be times it does NOT work .... you gave solid exhibits .... A can be a problem if you get too close .... B many IMO are not authentic but people pleasing types that say whatever they think you want.....
the current thing to to instantly block or something instead of giving a person space and time to resolve differences. I think you can make friends at any age ....but i just think they do not last as long as you might want i have had a few who were great taught me things like looking at things differently being bold etc but ended up moving etc.... try to be friend even with someone you do not see as a candidate and when you learn form someone you grow...