Huh Friendship!

I saw a post so thought I should also write my thoughts maybe someone would be able to help! Idk how long it would be though😯.

I am sad because my frnd didn't responded to my happy bday message yet (though I won't respond if he does unless he really wants to continue our convo)

Like you would say what happened.. and yeah obviously my frndship not going well. I am dumb bringing self respect things in between our frndship, and I guess it hurts when you literally feel like where my self respect is gone! 

Like I have been through a huge misunderstanding in one my friendship.. I was about to breakup, but they saved it, they are nice and I love them.

Now this is another frndship, it kinda ending because of my fault (I expressed my feelings to him), I didn't wanted to get into relationship even, it was just an expression,  I should have stated to him this.. I was dumb I didn't do that.. now we haven't been talking since 4 months, idk if it is because of that? I have been trying my best to preserve this frndship, he also did, but he I unable to manage his emotions idk? Today was his bday, I wished him after so much thought.. and it been 3 hr and I haven't got any reply, (lol I can't even check if he read that) I am waiting for reply... 

I feel dumb putting self respect in our frndship.. like he Don't want this frndship and all.. and you can understand why do I feel that way.. I don't want any frndship to end because of my fault lol.. 

It's bad feeling waiting, no self respect thing, hurting , frndship ended? No closure? Like what's going on idk! 

I really don't want this to end, but maybe it would? It hurts a lot! I literally will brokeup into pieces!