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i’m worried about my father

jane2913 January 20th, 2022

well i already posted about the bad relationship with my mother and the last few days it got a lot worse again especially today… she couldn’t find her trousers and accused every single one of us to have them. she was being so aggressive and screamed a lot… at that time i was eating something and i started shaking and couldn’t get one bite down ): but enough about me

afterwards i talked to my father because i’m noticing how quiet exhausted and burned out he’s becoming again… and i just don’t know how to help him): my mother treats him like sh*t and manipulates him and he’s in so much pain but he doesn’t stand up for himself cause she’s “in a bad place mentally” yeah wel but that doesn’t give her the right to destroy everyone/thing… he’s so hopeless and i just wish my mother let out all her anger on me and stoped hurting the people i love

i honestly have no idea what to do…

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peacefulIris56 January 21st, 2022

@danni123456 It sounds like that you are going through a very stressful and difficult situation in your life right now in regards to your parents. It looks like that they are not getting along very well. As a result, this conflict is causing you a lot internal emotional pain. It sounds like that you are really at odds with your mother right now and that you have a lot of empathy and compassion for your father. This is a lot for you to take on. I really commend you for being so strong while you work your way through this. I see that your father is having difficulties standing up to your mother and that he is in a lot of pain. I know that you love him, care about him and worry about him a lot. It hurts you to see him in this pain. It's very important for your mental and emotional health that you don't feel responsible for taking on his pain for him. It's important that you work on yourself and make yourself the strongest and healthiest version possible. Your father dealing with your mother is something that he has to work out with himself. It sounds like that you are doing the best at your part playing the role as the child in this situation. I am sure that your father really cares about you and loves you and wants you to be happy. I think that that by you doing your personal work and becoming the best version of yourself while your father does the same may be the best for this situation. It is up to you and him to make this work since it sounds like that your mother is non-cooperative. If she is not going to be cooperative, there is nothing that you or your father can do to change her. I see that you are reaching out and expressing how you feel about this situation. You are making progress as you are being proactive. It's important to take care of yourself and to love yourself. It's important to realize that you are not the cause of your parents' problems. I wish for good things to come your way in your life. I know it's difficult. I feel that things will get better eventually though.

4 replies
jane2913 OP January 21st, 2022

@peacefullris56

thank you so much for your kind words

its just so hard to keep going cause everything’s falling apart and there’s absolutely nothing i can do about it

i just hate that j can’t help my father… like she treats me like sh1t too but idc bout me lol i just wnat her to stop abusing my father

3 replies
peacefulIris56 January 21st, 2022

@danni123456 You're welcome. I understand that this is a moment in time that's difficult for you. It's true that there is nothing that you can do about it. I know that it really hurts you to be treated that way by your mother and for you to see your father go through her mistreatment as well. I know that it's difficult for you right now to find the strength to strength to keep going. I think that you finding and keeping the strength to keep going really makes a big difference in your father's life. You are really important to him and he wants you to be strong.



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Hadallmyshots January 21st, 2022

@danni123456 im so sorry youre going thru that...its hard to be in a toxic family situation, i grew up with that...i guess id say try to remember her feelings dont define you it defines how she is dealing with something and thats never your fault....remind your dad how much you love him and you are here for him and take support from each other.

1 reply
jane2913 OP January 21st, 2022

yeah thank you

it’s just getting really hard to keep going

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