afraid of coming out of the closet

I’m bisexual, and I often find myself wishing my parents knew about this, but they’re the most closed minded people i’ve ever met, I’m afraid they won’t want me anymore and I’m actually expecting them to kick me out of my house, I normally don’t care what they say about me because we have an awful relationship, I can’t talk to them without being judged and I don’t even talk to them about things about my true self, the last time I tried to talk to my mom I nonchalantly asked her what would she do if I told her I liked girls, and she looked at me with a disgusted face and told me she’d have a stroke because it wasn’t normal, (i have mommy issues lol), my cousin is gay and we promised we would come out together to my family and I know I won’t care what they say about me, i’ll just protect my cousin, but once I make sure he’s okay I know i’ll feel just how much everyone’s words will hurt and I probably won’t ask for help because I hate when people see me cry, it just makes me feel weak, that’s probably why I signed up on 7 cups