Silenced step parent
My boyfriend has a 9 year old daughter that last year was his first summer having her more than a weekend at a time. This summer she doesnt want to do much of anything. Apparently she is complaining to her aunt I "make her do too much". Shes been here a month, more than half those days I've been working (bf was out of work until last week, I'm doing all the housework/activity planning/paying all the bills) so I see her in passing and we go out and do things like once every 3 or 4 days and only when shes enthusiast about it. He right now is bring horribly mean that I'm "making" his daughter do things other than watch tv. I have no say in anything regarding her. He flipped out tonight when I asked her to try a new food. It's frustrating as I'm not forcing her to do anything I just want her off the couch but he insists hes the parent and I'm nothing though if we do any activity I'm planning and funding it. I dont know what I'm asking but I was hoping for some kind words I'm feeling so alone as I also work as a nanny for a family for 7 years but HES the ultimate parent when anything needs to be decided
@AmuckAmuckAmuck I see that you are struggling in this situation. It sounds like that you want to see your boyfriend's daughter to be productive in her life. At this current time, it sounds like that your boyfriend is not creating an environment conducive to her being productive. As a result, you do your best to try to get her to so something. He gets mad at you for doing so. He sees your actions as taking parental responsibility and duty and he doesn't like that. You consider yourself as a step-parent but it sounds like he doesn't consider you as such. This really bothers you since you pick up all the major responsibilities such as the housework, activity planning, and paying the bills. This is really challenging for you because you try your best to do what is beneficial in your situation and environment but he gets defensive about it and won't accept it. I understand how this makes you feel all alone. I am glad that you reached out.