Past sibling bullying

@charliedelitescit

Hello Charlie! I'm sorry that you have to go through such a hard time growing up with a brother like that. I understand how difficult it must be to want to speak but the fear or not being listened to by your parents makes it harder to deal with. After going through what you went through, it only makes sense that you would experience some struggle in trying to overcome it. It's that you have never gotten over it or got the healing that you needed. And I know that it doesn't make it easier because you are still dealing with it. I think it is a very common thing to experience this kind of behavior with siblings

@charliedelitescit

Hi Charlie, Sorry to hear of all that you have had to deal with and are still dealing with. I find myself in a similar situation. My slightly brother has bullied me since I can remember. I can't remember when I first felt hate for him. As a child I fought back, verbally and physically. I have never in my life been physically violent with anyone or thing except our childhood fights (almost always instigated by him). At about 11 I was sick of this and tried to talk to him and explain that I didn't want to have to deal fights or putdowns anymore and ask him to stop. He didn't, so I just stopped participating. Through our teens and early twenties we had a very toxic relationship. I thought we were friends and always made excuses for him and laughed it off, all while he was getting pleasure from humiliating me on purpose, putting me down, lying to paint me in a bad light. As an adult, things got worse. He would lean on me for support in practical and emotional ways and never offer any in return. A few years ago I went through a very prolonged traumatic experience. He used this as an excuse to escalate his bullying, to the point where I had to cut contact. Since then he has been systematically telling lies to all of my other family members, turning the tables and trying to paint me as the aggressor instead of the victim. Inventing stories about him trying to make peace and make it up to me and I how I am the one who is causing a rift in the family. I have good relationships with my other family members, yet many of them clearly believe him. I feel isolated and don't know how to cope.

@charlie how have thing developed for you with your brother since you posted this? How do you feel about how things have or haven't changed?

I wanted to write you a private message but I can't. Maybe it's because I'm new here.

Hope to hear back from you

@charliedelitescit

Hi Charlie! Growing up in that environment must have been really hard for you and scary to know that your parents were on your brother’s side. It was really brave of you to speak out as a child and it must’ve really hurt when your feelings were brushed aside. Enduring that type of relationship with not only your siblings but your parents too sounds like it can be really draining. It makes sense that you would still be feeling emotions from those times as they sound like they were very crucial moments in your life.

Hope you are able to find some time to take care of yourself and listen to your needs.