Parents Arent There
We keep seeing Öh mother but some of us never had good memories with our mother/father. We had parents but not in actual-so we dont miss them when gone . Share your note what you would like to say to your parent/parents. Whether its stressed out or caring doesnt matter-share it . A note to a parent which you felt must have been understood .
And incase you loved them-share that note too.
@ItsPreeti
Indeed, not all relationships are of love and affection. Thank you for holding this space to encourage people to share how they truly feel and what they'd like to convey to their parents/ guardians!🌞
To everyone coming across, remember that your experiences are true and your feelings are valid.💛
@ItsPreeti
Yep, as someone with a psychologically and emotionally abusive mother, I always try not to laugh when people talk about mother-daughter bonds because it was virtually nonexistent for me. If I could say one thing to her... I dunno, she wouldn't listen to me anyways or let me finish what I would be trying to say. She's a very loud and stubborn person and never really lets people give her criticism or even just any conflicting view without gaslighting the crap out of them. Maybe something about leaving me alone? I've had a restraining order against her for the past year but she keeps pushing her lawyers to talk about reunification therapy, when I couldn't care less about reunification with her. I just want her completely out of my life. So just something that would make it clear that I am much better off without her and that she needs to stop trying to butt into my business I guess.
As for my dad, he is the kindest, most patient person I have ever met and I am so blessed to have him as a father. Although we don't often understand each other, he tries very hard to see my point of view and is so empathetic with me when I am having a *** day and (unknowingly) take it out on him. So all I would really tell him is that I love him ❤️
@ItsPreetiIt is indeed true and I've been through it too..there were times I wished my dad was gone for good .and then again I wished he didn't cuz I've always been confused because of his mixed signals and feelings . I would've told him (if I had the guts to speak to him) that :
Baba,
I've always loved you no matter how much you've traumatised me, I donno what you went through or why you are the way you are..maybe you had times you too felt you were too horibble for a role of a father. Dad, the guilt of you working in a heating summer for all these years and falling ill while you went to earn a bread for our house still stops me from hating you thinking youve done alot for me. We've come far. If I could I would only teach you how to love your child .. I've had times I prayed I never have a husband like you or a father like you to my children..but again I stop thinking of the times you went all your way out just to earn for me just so i could be educated and learn to have my voice. I love you Baba I've always did it's just sometimes your way of expressing your love looks like threat more than admiration.
@ItsPreeti
it is about the memories, the way you remember your parent or your family as an unperfect family, every family has her soul and style and their way, I prefer to share with them my concerns to get details or an explanation if they are not around anymore i let it go and forgive.
Hey Dad I just wanted to thank you for my weekly beatings. And Mom thanks for being addicted to drugs and alcohol. Even better thanks a lot for disappearing when I was 13 never to be heard from again. I appreciate all your love you gave me.
@ItsPreeti
People fail to realise their parents love for them and they never acknowledge until they grow old or when they become parents. This happens because children often lacks the perspective from walking in their parents show.
My message to the children, try thinking through your parents point of view and you will learn the sacrifices they make to get you a better life, acknowledge their love when you have the time
I say this with caution because I'm not sure you're referring to children who have a bad relationship with their parents or just in general. I'd say differently though, if children fail to realize their parents don't love them at an early age it's probably because the parents don't (not saying children are super self aware but we do pick up on a lot of cues etc). That's coming from someone who is very young and I've never truly felt like my parents love me, I recently learned in a book about adlerian psychology that they in fact don't. It's conditonal and I've tried to see it from their point of view, understanding that our brains are different however, at the end of the day those "sacrifices" were rooted in control/conformity of me therefore they don't mean much. Some parents are simply emotionally unintelligent and their so-called love and sacrifice is nothing but a vertical relationship rooted in give/receive which is negative.
🌸 My Pretty, Pretty Mommy. 🌸
Thank you so much for being in my life and sharing your heart with me. You’ve taught me about so many of the beautiful things I adore and enjoy in life and I’m so very grateful.
You have a gentle and oh-so-fierce spirit and I’m in complete awe whenever we talk. Listening to your life stories inspire me. You have a strength only told in fairytales! (But, also in “pinch myself” real life, too!)
Thank you for your kindness and strength. You truly are magically magnificent and I truly adore you!
(Guess what else, Mom. I still really, truly, undeniably love this man… still. 😁 And, even after all these years, he treats me like your little, precious, beautiful baby… and wondrous woman. 🙂↕️😌🫠 Thank you for leading me down the perfect path.)
You are so loved 🥰
This hits home. Growing up I thought I had a normal childhood and I always tried to please my parents (especially my mother), be the good, responsible daughter with minimal needs and no emotional needs and being there emotionally for my mother. After growing up and watching other loving parents-children relationship, I realized i never received emotional care and comfort at all. I am 30 and havent received a single hug when I was sad, angry, depressed, vulnerable from either my parents in these 30 years. Now, when I have wonderful people in my life who comfort me when I am down, makes me realize how important these little things are. I really dont have much to say to my parents because they just dont want to understand the consequences of what emotional neglect, gaslighting and emotional abuse can do to a child. I would just tell them that "I do not have any emotional connection with you both and I have people who matter way more to me. You have lost your only daughter forever and I consider myself just a caretaker for you guys".